Still alive.

So this morning I was quietly sleeping, dreaming of a Mary Magdalene shop that for some reason had opened in the city; I had almost reached the shop window when my mother woke me up to let me see -something-. A little bit worried I left the warm blankets, put on my glasses and my plaid and followed her until we reached the window. I couldn't believe my eyes when I found the whole scenario full of snow! I rememeber when I posted on my blog, that day when a tiny snow fell and I had never seen it here, but this, this was unbelievable! I put on my face an idiot smile and I did some photos - I just can't post them all for privacy purposes.
There already was this idea on my mind, to come back in my blog on the last day of the year. And then, when I saw the snow, it reminded me of when I was so excited to post here every single special thing happening in my life. And so I did. But actually it's not that simple. It was hard for me even opening the page. I even thought it had been deleted. Then I found it so hard to find again the page to write, to upload the photo, the statistics that I love to check everyday, everything is changed again, and language is still a barrier. I wondered if it's worth it, if maybe I should open a blog as... other lolitas do, on international platforms, maybe. Because, still, I believe in the therapeutic value of this blog; the way it makes me feel that I do exist. And yet I am writing so fluently that it seems I've never been away.
It's been a long time, indeed.
Lately I had no much inspiration to write anymore, it became so boring report all Kimi's GPs (for the 2014 season I promised myself to report just the races when he would be on the podium - and so he did not, even once).
Actually, I felt like my life had... stabilized. My health was better, I thought I found someone to talk with and some pleasant hobby to spend my days. It was like I didn't need a place to console me anymore. But then. When you think that thinks are going well, you fall. And the fall hurts so much, the higher is the place you reach, the worse is the fall. I felt so bad. Not even the blog could heal me. Nothing. No one. And then... somehow... I managed to resist. I went trough all the summer - the summer - with those terrible feelings, but I made it. I traveled across all over Italy, went at the seaside, worked on my new move, improved my online work, finally moved and than faced the loneliness and the pain again.
And then this morning it was snowing and my soul, that was so suffering, was relieved. I can't say I am healed, no. I can't even say if I am doing the right thing.
It's just that I'm still alive, and that's it.

2014 Winter Olympics

Winter Olympic Games have begun!
I wish I could have seen the opening ceremony, it seemed very cool.
Worst uniform: Germany, again!
Best uniform: don't know >.<
Totally agree with this:

F14T debut

They did a movie! Poor Kimi
(Am I the only one reading F14T as FIAT?)

What about 2013

What should I say? It's been a hard year (like always!) but despite my diligence I wasn't able to reach noteworthy results, I think. I dare to say my health status is a little bit improved; I expanded my knowledge... and my lolita wardrobe. Don't know what will be of me next year and I can't do plans more than the little ones I am working on now, that I still don't want to spread.
I will spend this evening at my parents' with their friends and their son, that's quite unusual.

Very huge earthquake

So it was about 6 p.m. and I was at my desk playing rpg when suddenly the earthquake came. I didn't panic but it was a huge quake, probably the strongest I've ever felt. My parents let me put on clothes just in case we had to run out. But nothing happened later.
About the last two months, it's been a very hard time, traveling across Italy and I got a bad flu too. Totally blind about my future, I came back at my parents' where I'm spending the usual sad and lonely Christmas holydays.
Of all the things I've read and seen, I liked very much Shingeki no Kyojin while was very disappointed by Downton Abbey Series 4 .

Christmas

2013 F1 season finale

No photos and no specific posts for the last races of the 2013 F1 season, since Kimi didn't take part to them. The season ended with Kimi 5th in the Drivers Championship. Next year Kimi will be in Ferrari... I don't know if I will keep on write about every single GP. Too much confused. See you soon Kimi!

GP of Abu Dhabi 2013

Kimi retired on the first lap; he's still 3rd in the Drivers Championship

GP of India 2013

Kimi ended in 7th place and he's still 3rd in the Drivers Championship
Sebastian Vettel won the Championship.

What about October

My life here is unstable and hard, and I am really really sorry I can't update my blog with pretty things. Just one year ago I had so many discoveries and awesome things to write, and photos and good intentions. Fortunately I am quite healthy (but of course I felt bad on the Halloween night ), it's just all the rest that is a mess.
Now to bring some happiness to this blog I will add some random gif.