Past few weeks has been very tough for me and I've never felt this much of a hard hitting, ever. I am usually a happy person. But lately, all I have within me is guilt, anger and resentment towards this whole ordeal. I am not usually like this. I am not usually the type to lament over the things brought upon me because I have always believed in myself in overcoming these shortcomings. I usually rise up to the occasion. But what is happening to me? I want to understand.
Unfortunately, this time, I am tired. Mentally and physically. I just need one, just one motivation to get me through this slump. It has been so difficult for me to find the focus and determination I used to have. I feel as if each and everyday, I am starting to doubt myself and I even question my capability of handling this whole thing. I do not know if I am able to handle the stress and the pressure I’ve brought upon myself. I do not know whether to stop, think and reevaluate the things I want out of my life. All I know is something needs to be done, and it needs to be accomplished as soon as possible.
Everyday is a drag. Everyday I feel such culpability that I am not exceeding other’s expectations. Let alone, my own expectations. Everyday, it’s been a waste. I feel as if I have the potential to become so much more, to accomplish so much more, yet, my mind and my body is not responding to it. My heart doesn’t know it’s place. I am walking, lost. And I know it’s normal to feel like this every once in a while. I mean, who doesn’t question themselves sometimes, right? Progress over perfection.
Clearly, I am heading towards a downward spiral and I just wish I can hit rock bottom already. ‘Cause the best thing about hitting rock bottom is I have nowhere to go but up. I have nothing to lose. I have nobody but myself. ‘Cause even I said it before and I’ll constantly remind myself every single time… What’s wrong with falling down? When I know I can definitely stand up again. I have to be strong for the everyone else and most importantly for myself.
Unfortunately, this time, I am tired. Mentally and physically. I just need one, just one motivation to get me through this slump. It has been so difficult for me to find the focus and determination I used to have. I feel as if each and everyday, I am starting to doubt myself and I even question my capability of handling this whole thing. I do not know if I am able to handle the stress and the pressure I’ve brought upon myself. I do not know whether to stop, think and reevaluate the things I want out of my life. All I know is something needs to be done, and it needs to be accomplished as soon as possible.
Everyday is a drag. Everyday I feel such culpability that I am not exceeding other’s expectations. Let alone, my own expectations. Everyday, it’s been a waste. I feel as if I have the potential to become so much more, to accomplish so much more, yet, my mind and my body is not responding to it. My heart doesn’t know it’s place. I am walking, lost. And I know it’s normal to feel like this every once in a while. I mean, who doesn’t question themselves sometimes, right? Progress over perfection.
Clearly, I am heading towards a downward spiral and I just wish I can hit rock bottom already. ‘Cause the best thing about hitting rock bottom is I have nowhere to go but up. I have nothing to lose. I have nobody but myself. ‘Cause even I said it before and I’ll constantly remind myself every single time… What’s wrong with falling down? When I know I can definitely stand up again. I have to be strong for the everyone else and most importantly for myself.
