confused

honestly, I'm very confused.

I know you hate me.

you should.

I haven't been talking you for months.

it's pretty much a dick move.

but every time I get caught up in something, or one of us doesn't reply, the silence just goes on.

and the longer the silence is the more fearful I get of talking to you again.

because you'd be pissed and I really don't have a reason.

it isn't the first time.

so when I actually tried to contact you, gritting my teeth for the wrath of hell you we're going to send my way, I was really glad you replied.

I was relieved that you didn't say anything this time.

but did that mean you've already given up?

am I just another person you talk to online?

I don't even know anymore.

after I asked if you'd want to hang out the you ended conversation.

so I don't know.

we'd only be so near each other again next year. or the year after that.

what are you thinking about?

what do you feel?

what am I supposed to do?