Now I feel better than the morning of yesterday. Certainly I couldn't wipe my depression off in the morning. But, anyway, I'm really fine now. Thank God Its Friday!
What makes difference is the difference of the future one believes. I suddenly realized this fact yesterday. In High School Diplomats program, I had an opportunity to talk with one of the best woman I met in my life. She is a Japanese stage actress in New York and an almunus of HSD. She told us about her early life in US. After she graduated high school, she went to the university in US. But she experienced many difficulties there. What she was doing at that time was listening music of Dream Come True. You know, Dream Come True is a music group which creates and performs comperatively positive songs. On the other hand, when I was in depression like these days, I always listen to relatively negative songs that features suicide or sentimentalism. I think the big difference between her and me comes from this point. While the actress cheer herself up, I agreed with the darkness as a darkness. Of course, sometimes we need someone or something that accept our dark side. But it is true that we cannot escape from the depression if we indulge the darkness and don't try to improve the situation. I sometimes feel I want to disappear and get easy. It is because I have heard the fact over and over again from many songs or many comics or animation movies. I want to believe the future more positively. I don't want to spend my life with pesimistic view. Simply put, what we need today is a power to believe positive future.
I got side effect of COVID-19 vaccine. In the morning, I was fine except the depression. In the PE class of third period, my left arm began to hurt and I began to feel hungry. In the next modern society class, I spent whole of the time feeling my hunger. Then I ate lunch twice more than usual. After I solved my hunger, my headache and sense of fatigue began. I felt hard to study in the Japanese history class and math class, but I took them because I didn't want to lose my credit. After school, I drank oral dehydration solution and take my temperature with a thermometer. It was 0.5 degrees higher than usual. Then I spent one or two hours lying on the bed. After the rest, I began a preparation for a mini test of Chinese Characters I have today since I felt better. That was my side effect story. I hope that I won't experience such a feeling next time.
Today's song:とあ - ツギハギスタッカート - ft.初音ミク ( Toa - Patchwork Staccato - ft.Hatsune Miku ) - YouTube
See you!!