waiting for 1.o.clock

In vain one has watched me suffer throughout my harsh war. From the white flag going up in defeat to the silent wet tears streaming down my face. Everyone watched, smirking at me, like I was nothing. And in these times, I wanted to stab myself and end my life because everything was so meaningless to me. The advice I was being told and the comparisons people were trying to make; I felt so cold. My world was fading into the likes of bitter December and I was clinging onto an icy cliff and now the tears that fell down my face hardened into that of ice.

Struggling. Crying. Pity. Those words reflected on me so much and my life seemed to have built it's foundation on those damn words. I was so lost. Inside I was aching to find someone. I know you don't need love to find happiness, but it makes everything so much better. And then I fell. My eyes closed and the last of my tears left and turned into nothing. The dark brown locks of hair gracefully flew upward and I continued to fall waiting for darkness to engulf my heart. There was no way I could take everything.

But then cupid's bow struck again, missing me slightly and simply leaving a small cut on my bare arm. Blood spilled from the freshly opened wound and I was aware of my surroundings. I landed on a cloud. And on this cloud was a man whose arms were wide open. The cut on arm began to heal, because he touched my heart in the same way love pulls you toward it. He's amazing.

Happiness once fills me up again and I don't need to look at my past. He's always there, and I love him. And even though I'm scared about what'll happen, it won't matter because all that matters is that I really do love him. The voice that whispers I love you and the person that I just want to hug.

I really never understood why feelings such as these overcome me or why these words come out of my mouth, but it's all good. It's okay. I'll share my world and I won't ever let go.

arch in the sky

The rain that has been music to my ears has ceased and I lie on my bed saddened and gloomy. My aura is that of a negative cloud surrounding me. Of course, this is all due to my selfish acts of love. Oh yes, Rielle is a pathetic loser face. If you were to look at the word pathetic in the English dictionary, what would you find ? Ah ! A picture of Rielle's desperate face. Oh the irony. Love is like an ongoing curse, striking at random times during the day. At one moment it doesn't faze you and when it finally hits you, unhappiness gradually take over you. The heart beating slower and slower to the point where you take in deep breaths to accquire the oxgyen that is essential to live. But that's just me, it's only my imagination. Perhaps it's only a dream. But someday, I will see that arch in the sky. That beautiful rainbow.

rain

Today was beautiful. The sounds of the rain so peaceful to my ears. Everything was balanced, everything was relaxing. But of course, there's always something that makes a perfect picture, imperfect. The wind today ruined my peaceful picture, the thoughts I had cultivated ran away as the wind forcefully blew past me. Mother nature is angry, and crying. As am I.