Lately, I've lost the will to do anything, even my hobbies and other things that I used to love doing.
I tweeted this and asked because I want to know what is this feeling
Drawing and listening to music is one of my number one therapy when I don't feel like things were fine. Surprisingly I can skip Aqours good stuff videos/contents tho back then I wouldn't wanna miss anything because these girls can brigthen up my day. Even playing games were tiring. It's also painful when even talking to friends naturally or opening up feels like a burden even if I don't want to miss out, it was tiring to try to be "ok".
Even this morning I cried silently because the feeling was too heavy. I don't want my sister know because sometimes I feel like she's invalidating my feelings. I don't blame her. She also deals with stuffs that might be too complex for me to understand so I don't want to bother her nor want to open up, even to my mom because I too know she's still hurt.
I'm glad I got no uni today, it would be too bumber to forced to get up even if you've got no will to do so.
I thank to the people and friends who took their time to send me supporting replies and private messages and advises.
What I quite get a lot is "try to change pace", or "take things slowly", or "take a rest", or "do things in your own pace", something like these.
It's quite easy to say. I mean, that would be I'd say if they were me so I totally understand and they are just concern. But, me who knows what my environment is, it's totally difficult. It is trully difficult when you are expected to "move forward", to "move on", to "keep up".
It's tiring to try to be strong when I feel like I'm standing on a thin ice. In any moment I would break. At this moment words are useless to me, I can still feel the sincerity and I'm happy to receive one but it just doesn't change me or anything. I feel bad for them taking the time to send a message.
I just want some shoulders or a hug. I just want to cry to someone without explaining.