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After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is &quot like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,&quot has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him: &quot That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.&quot &quot Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.&quot &quot The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.&quot More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story 

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