Looking back, we had many disconnections...
The first one wasn't even in 2014.
It was on june of 2013. We could have met at JFK.
But don't ask me, man, how I knew you were going to NYC. i can't explain, the same way I can't explain the next happenings....
Tokyo, 2014. Avex Bldg.
Being my first time at that place, by that time my mobile battery was almost gone and I was walking without plans. So I crossed the avenue and saw a small and cute building, with showing bricks.
But the cuteness shouldn't have been enough to keep me there, with the feet glued on floor.
It took me a good while, looking, staring, to realise I was in front of Avex Bldg. And, at the first moment hadn't taken notice at all of the gigant LED screen at the front of the more modern part of the building.
For me, it was just the bricks bldg and me. For some good 10 minutes.
And by that time I could't understand why I was there. Or why was a voice screaming inside me to go inside de bldg, or at least not to leave.
After I left, I received a message from a friend, saying you were there. Recording.
If I had waited a little more, maybe we could have met.
Then, another day.
Birthday of a friend who was in Tokyo as well.
Also the day I had to say not to a lovely friend who wanted to be my boyfriend. And he could have been and adorable one, if only I wasn't on my knees, begging to have a minute with you.
That day, the gals got lost inside Tokyo's subway and we lost the chance to watch the last presentation of a stage.
You were there to watch it. If only we had waited for it to end....
The Shizuoka weekend.
Oh, man. I had so many hopes, you know...
But there was that bastard, who was working woth you. He could have helped me. But the selfish dude was a real dick head.
And all the gifts were gone then...
You have no idea how it was painful. It took me time, effort, money, risk of being caught with so many bottles f alcohol at the airport....for nothing.
The Conrad episode.
I guess, thinking about all the days of my trip, that was the time I was most in a hurry. Trying to reach you. Trying to have a chance to look in your eyes.
And It was very frustrating.
It'd have been a great ocasion.
Also that place.
When I decided to go there, actually, I had no hope left at all.
But even if I wanted to understand a bit more about you by going there, wasn't really expecting meet and talk to a living part of your life. One of your best friends, if not the best one.
The guy is so gentle. But also a skilled observer.
It got me a bit awkward how easily he could read my face and discover my feelings.
Even nowadays I feel like he is torn between the role of BF, and his wish to help me getting next to you.
..... I can't help myself but wondering if I wouldn't be better now, had I had a no from you, back there in Tokyo... Wouldn't I be recovering by now...
There would be no choice.
And I wouldn't stay like this, without movements. Wishing and dreaming of you....
The first one wasn't even in 2014.
It was on june of 2013. We could have met at JFK.
But don't ask me, man, how I knew you were going to NYC. i can't explain, the same way I can't explain the next happenings....
Tokyo, 2014. Avex Bldg.
Being my first time at that place, by that time my mobile battery was almost gone and I was walking without plans. So I crossed the avenue and saw a small and cute building, with showing bricks.
But the cuteness shouldn't have been enough to keep me there, with the feet glued on floor.
It took me a good while, looking, staring, to realise I was in front of Avex Bldg. And, at the first moment hadn't taken notice at all of the gigant LED screen at the front of the more modern part of the building.
For me, it was just the bricks bldg and me. For some good 10 minutes.
And by that time I could't understand why I was there. Or why was a voice screaming inside me to go inside de bldg, or at least not to leave.
After I left, I received a message from a friend, saying you were there. Recording.
If I had waited a little more, maybe we could have met.
Then, another day.
Birthday of a friend who was in Tokyo as well.
Also the day I had to say not to a lovely friend who wanted to be my boyfriend. And he could have been and adorable one, if only I wasn't on my knees, begging to have a minute with you.
That day, the gals got lost inside Tokyo's subway and we lost the chance to watch the last presentation of a stage.
You were there to watch it. If only we had waited for it to end....
The Shizuoka weekend.
Oh, man. I had so many hopes, you know...
But there was that bastard, who was working woth you. He could have helped me. But the selfish dude was a real dick head.
And all the gifts were gone then...
You have no idea how it was painful. It took me time, effort, money, risk of being caught with so many bottles f alcohol at the airport....for nothing.
The Conrad episode.
I guess, thinking about all the days of my trip, that was the time I was most in a hurry. Trying to reach you. Trying to have a chance to look in your eyes.
And It was very frustrating.
It'd have been a great ocasion.
Also that place.
When I decided to go there, actually, I had no hope left at all.
But even if I wanted to understand a bit more about you by going there, wasn't really expecting meet and talk to a living part of your life. One of your best friends, if not the best one.
The guy is so gentle. But also a skilled observer.
It got me a bit awkward how easily he could read my face and discover my feelings.
Even nowadays I feel like he is torn between the role of BF, and his wish to help me getting next to you.
..... I can't help myself but wondering if I wouldn't be better now, had I had a no from you, back there in Tokyo... Wouldn't I be recovering by now...
There would be no choice.
And I wouldn't stay like this, without movements. Wishing and dreaming of you....
