Sometimes, you just want to disappear from the world.
Not through death, but just simply vanish. Without a trace.
Sometimes, you just want to leave behind all the problems in life.
Not to look for a fresh start but to simply quit and stop moving forward.
Sometimes, you just get so sick of the world.
Not wanting to be a part of it anymore.
Sometimes, you just can't do anything right.
Not a moment passes without self-doubt.
Sometimes, I feel that way too.
Not because I'm weak but because I'm human.
では本日はここら辺で
Love. What is love?
At some point in time, I thought it might be an infatuation, but as I spent more time with you I realized that it was much more. I know that you might not be the person I painted you out to be. I know that sometimes you have to put on a façade. I know no one is perfect. But your imperfections, your flaws, your mistakes, I'll accept them all. I love you for who you are, all that you have been, and all that you ever will be. I want to be your everything.
Is love a choice, or is it a feeling? I think it's a little bit of both.
I chose to fall in love with you, I chose to let my love for you grow a little more each day. I chose to commit myself to you.
The feeling of happiness and comfort when I'm beside you. The feeling when I first fell in love. The feeling when you said you love me back is the best in the world.
So Love. What is love? I've found the answer. You were right in front of me all along. I love you.
では本日はここら辺で
Farewells. Goodbyes.
No matter how many times I say it, it is never any less painful. No matter who I say it to, it never gets any easier. They're hard because you never know what kind of goodbye you are saying. The uncertainty of not being able to see you again frightens me. The possibility of being forgotten frightens me. The emptiness I get every time we part frightens me. The longer I stay with you, the harder it gets to say goodbye. I don't want to say goodbyes because I don't know if this one means forever or a see you later.
But maybe sometimes farewells are necessary. Maybe sometimes closure is needed for the next chapter to begin. Maybe sometime, someday, somewhere we will see each other again. But, I don't know if I'm ready, I don't know if I ever will be ready. I wonder when the day comes, how do I, how do I, say goodbye.
では本日はここら辺で
It has been a while since my last blog post. It truly has been a time of desolation. I lost the will, the power to pick up my pen. Negativity plagued me, disenchanted my spirit, and stripped me of my will. I could argue that at some point, that was probably the lowest point in my life. But even in the darkness, light can still shine, the light of hope, no matter how small or faint, still fights to illuminate the darkness. For there cannot be light without darkness, pleasure without pain, joy without sorrow, and love without hate. But much like life, nothing last forever, much like the ephemeral beauty of the sakura, much like you. How can I, in these limited seasons, tell you, show you and give you my everything. Maybe I can't, maybe I can't do any of that. Maybe sometimes, things just aren't meant to be and I need to learn to let go.
Finite. What is finite. Is it exactly because things and moments are finite that they become an important part of our lives, our memories? Or is it because it is finite that we cling onto them, refusing to let go knowing that eventually, eventually, all good things must come to an end. The pain of letting go. I wonder which is more painful, inevitability or uncertainty. Letting you go or being let go. I'm afraid. There are so many maybes. So many what-ifs. So many outcomes. So many questions. Questions for which I have answers but refuse to believe.
What am I to you? What are you to me? I know, I know. I'm sure we both know.
では本日はここら辺で
I've been procrastinating lately. The notion of writing daily entries has been reduced to sudden caprices. Excuses I dare say. Time constraints, writer's block, and lack of discipline to name a few. Once again, work has caught up with me and my current rut is not helping. I probably should be focusing on that instead of writing this right now. Despite my unproductive day today, things are going relatively smoothly. By taking advantage of remote work, I've found myself working in the least likely places. Traveling off the beaten path and settling down whenever a spark of inspiration hits. Eventually finding myself back in places I frequent and bask in the tranquility. And as the night falls, I sat by the river and enjoyed the stunning night view. From my phone, I watched as my oshimen gingerly caressed her guitar, playing it ever so elegantly. I couldn't help but be enamored by her beautiful voice. As her voice gently caresses my ears, I start to reminisce about the days I spent with her and also envisage the days I would spend with her in the future. I can't wait to see you again. I miss you.
では本日はここら辺で
It has been a long time since I've taken up my pen. It's been so long that I can't have a coherent line of thought for me to properly document. I wonder how long has it been since I sat down and tried to organize everything, my life, my thoughts, my plans, and everything else. I gave in to the realization that over the years, I do not really possess things to look back on - no photos, no journals, nothing. Certain moments of my life have been hazy, and no matter how much I try, I cannot recall the finer details.
The power of nostalgia. A feeling that was supposed to make me feel safe or loved, was starting to feel very foreign and scary. I was afraid. And when one of my very sources of documentation failed me, I felt a massive sense of uncertainty. As I looked back and relived the moments I've spent, I can't help but miss them. I crave this feeling, which is both the best and worst feeling at the same time. From that point on, I decided to leave more footprints of my finite existence, knowing that it will end someday. And when that day comes hopefully I'll be given an opportunity to look back at the life I've lived. It may not have been a smooth road, and it may not have been an inspiring one, but it will have been a life in which I truly enjoyed every second.
I hope you, the reader can join me on this journey too.
Hello, Nana here to share my experiences on the very first release event I've attended by one of the members of a popular seiyuu unit, Trysail. Composing of Momo Asakura, Sora Amamiya and Shiina Natsukawa. Being introduced to the group about 2 years ago, it wasn't until the release of their single Adrenaline!!!, where my interest in the group reached it's climax. Since then I've been trying to follow and support them wherever they go, where I first attended their live earlier this year in Makuhari Messe.
Well then without further ado, let's talk about the events leading up the release event of, Sora Amamiya's (from henceforth referred to as tenchan) '' VIPER ''.
VIPER Release Day
With VIPER being released on 10th July, and with stores stocking them on 9th July, I hit the streets of Akihabara to begin my hunt for the bromides.Working from Gamers to Animate, Tower records to Toranoana and finally ending at Sofmap. Here are some pictures, enjoy.
As with release events, there is usually a campaign at stores such as Animate and Gamers, offering the buyer a chance to engage in a lottery with every CD purchased. In this case, they were handing out signed posters, signed CD jackets as well as promotional posters as prizes. And with that knowledge, I left gamers with more bromides any man should have and also something most man would love to have.
I was so stoked when I saw what came out of that contraption wasn't a white ball but one that was glistening green. I kind of lost my shit, when I realised that I actually won a signed CD jacket. I proceeded to thank the clerk and scurried out of the place as fast as possible.
I spent the rest of my day exploring Akihabara and at the end of the day, started to input the codes for the release event. With only one code from Toranoana, I really wasn't expecting much. But what greeted me in the form of an email reply was one of the best things I'd hope to see. But let's not jump so far ahead first, I still have somethings to touch upon.
Trysail Nagoya Live
So a few days after VIPER release, I attended Trysail's live at Nagoya with a few other Trysailors. I was really excited since I was going to be able to hear VIPER and Merry-Go-Round live (ノ ^ ∇ ^). We entered the live filled with Adrenaline, time whizzed by so quickly and soon we're at the encore. Leaving us in High Free Spirits when we headed back.
Tenchan sang VIPER on the first day and Merry-Go-Round on the second. Claiming to be a song that will be difficult to sing live, I think tenchan's determination paid off and got past that hurdle. Once again I was mesmerised by her voice and how powerful it is and the way she swayed and moved while singing. So, I thought wouldn't it be nice if I was able to go to VIPER's release event and experience it once again, except possibly in a more intimate setting. Tenchan's blog post on Odyssey Nagoya TS .
2 days after the live, the results of the release event was out. I was chilling in Hakone when I received the email, much to my surprise. I didn't think I'd be part of the "winning with only one code" club. Winning is one thing, entering is another. I've heard about how stringent the ID checks can be and how there have been instances where people have failed them. I didn't have a plan laid out for the check itself, but I do believe that confidence is key.
Day of the Release Event
Earlier in the morning, I was exploring Kamakura with a friend of mine. We went around visiting and exploring temples and shrines, and also had our fortunes predicted, in the form of omikuji. So lucky enough, I got a good fortune reading, which would definitely come in handy later today. With my fingers crossed, I headed for Akihabara and waited for the event to start.
The event was scheduled to start at 19:00, doors will be opened at 18:30 and at 18:15, a queue started to form. Waiting for it to start, I was browsing items at the 3F of Toranoana store C. I was getting more nervous as the event draws near. I joined the queue at around 18:20, I could see the queue snake all the way down the stairs, everyone anxiously waiting to enter. They prepared their documents to be checked in plastic folders. Then I started to get worried, am I going to pass the check? I kept asking myself. I could only present so many personal documents, will my explanation of using my friend's address and telephone number suffice? Worst case I can call him to get him to vouch for me.
So as the queue slowly moved up the stairs, I slowly start to build composure and confidence. With a smile I looked at the guy, showed him my passport and winning email. I told him that I was the one who registered for the release event, but however as I was a foreigner, I don't possess a JP phone number as well as address, so I got my friend to help me with those details instead. That was one of the most stressful moments in my life. I celebrated my success by screaming internally and proceeded to head to my seat. First thing I saw when I turned the corner was this, ≧(´ ▽ ｀)≦
The event venue is small, housing only a 100 people. Seats were laid out with their respective numbers pasted behind. As my seat number was 82, I was rather far behind and located at the extreme right side of the room. I wish I wasn't so short.. People started to trickle in, and more seats were starting to get filled up. On the seat is a piece of paper, paper filled with questionnaires .
I sat down and started to answer them, I was glad that I still had about 20 minutes to think. Because somehow I can't for the life of me think of a recent mischief ... so with my somewhat horrible handwriting I finished it. Fingers crossed once again. The venue was almost fully seated at this point, with only a couple seats empty, the clock is going to hit 7pm soon, I prayed that the seats find their owners. Alas there were a few more stragglers held outside, they entered the room and the event was almost ready to start.
After the entrance cue by the emcee, tenchan stepped onto the stage, accompanied by applauses from the audiences. When she appeared, the most striking thing about her was the pants she was wearing. It features a pattern liken to that of snake skin, which was extremely fitting for the title of her new single VIPER. For which she later revealed that it was purchased from H&M for 599yen She was also wearing a pair of red high heels, which I sadly can't see, but here's tenchan's blog post and also a FHD image of her (ᐛ) و
Tenchan began by talking about how she was really looking forward to the release event, so she could share with us more about her single and how it came to be. All the while delivering her speech in a machine gun manner, for which she told us to let her know if she's going too fast (no one did). As my command in the Japanese language was not the greatest, I struggled trying to comprehend what tenchan was saying, and while making sense to what was said earlier, she zips past to another topic. So I might not be able to full iliterate the talk event, the way it's meant to be delivered, so apologies if I can't fully explain each pointers (╯︵╰,)
Moving on, the talk event was split into two sections, the first being a keyword talk segment. As it's name suggest, a random keyword is selected from a box and tenchan will begin to elaborate on it. She picked a total of 5 different keywords and had a lot of fun talking about each of them in a way that allows us to relate to and understand, on top of that, know more about tenchan. Here are the 5 topics:
Favourite Lyrics (Talked about the ones from VIPER and Merry-Go-Round)
Recently, have you been riding bicycles
Memories of summer homework
Memories during productions
Things she noticed during the recordings
Next part of the talk event was the questionnaire. Similarly, it is chosen based on a lottery system, after which the nickname will be read out, identifying the individual and then tenchan proceeds to answering the questionnaire. A total of 7 different questions were chosen. It was really insightful and funny, hearing the views and personal anecdotes of different individuals as well as tenchan herself.
Throughout the whole talk event, I was admiring tenchan and her various facial expression that she displayed, from her laughing to her pouting, I could tell she was having a great time, interacting with her fans and hearing their replies. Time flew by really quickly, the talk event was about 45 minutes, but it felt a lot lesser than that. After the event ended, I exchanged my SNS with the guy beside me and called it a day. I was too shy engage with the others. Maybe next time. I really need to thank those guys who took notes and summarised some points, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to fully understand the points.
Thank you to tenchan and the staff involved in organising this event, I was glad to be able to experience my first release event together with all of her fans. It was truly a heartwarming experience. Something to take home once again is to continue to brush up my command in japanese in hopes of better understanding such events as well as emcee segments of lives. I'll work hard.
It was drizzling a little too, I guess she really is the rain women.
She was also wearing a pair of red high heels, which I sadly can't see, but here's tenchan's