but oh well~
no one wants to experience pain right?
never experience it myself though. but looking at how my friends suffer, I don't think I want to experience that.
though I know, I'm just scared, but you know?
still.... it's a no no for me.
Sometimes, you don't know how to convey your feelings, or how to tell someone how you feel.
It's just hard to express it in front of them, not that you’re a plastic, but if you say that you are their friend, it can't be helped to say what you wanted to say.
It's hard to say that you hate them, but then you also love them.
A chocolate feelings maybe? Sweet and Bitter? Who knows? A mixture of unknown feelings are feeling up your heart that sometimes, you don't know how to put it in words.
Then eventually you end up putting a barrier between your friends and yourself.
Putting up with this, the only thing you can show them is the mask that you put up, and that smile that has no exact meaning.
The exact thing, the exact clearance, the exact and specific smile that is permanently piercing through every gaze he make. That's what it makes my damn friends crazy. This thing they called "LOVE"….
ヽ() `ε '()
One thing I do understand… that if you fall in love, either you focus more on yourself, or you wouldn't care anymore about anything you do as long as he'll like you back.
Friends? I don't know anymore. Even if you tell me that I'm an outcast. I knew it already, I'm always the indifferent one.
(｡・ε・｡)