1回しかお願いしないか、何回もお願いするか
講師の一人が、Exchange studentとして日本に留学中。
「なんか面白い異文化体験をした？」と聞いたところ、次のような答えが返ってきた。
・日本人は、頼みごとをするときは、1回だけ頼み、何回もお願いしない。
・フィリピン人は、それがSeriousなら、何回も頼む。
だから、次のような誤解が起きる模様。
・日本人は1回しかお願いしないから、日本人にはSeriousなお願いなのに、フィリピン人にそうだとわかってもらえない。
・フィリピン人は、何度もお願いするから、日本人にとっては「何回も言うなよ！」と思える時がある。
相互理解は、
「行為A＝意図A、という関係は異文化では成り立たない」
「だから、相手がなぜ行為Aをとっているのかを、『！？』と思う体験をしたときには必ず考えましょう」
ということだと思う。
滞在中の講師からのメールの原文はこちら。
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
The usual things that foreigners encounter in Japan is the Japanese sense of time, politeness. It is already very obvious, so I will no longer expound on it.
I would just like to concentrate on the one thing that was very striking to me, the indirectness of Japanese. I knew about it, but did not fully comprehend its dimensions.
First of all, Japanese people came across as very helpful people, just like Filipino people. However, Japanese people are not as vocal as Filipinos. I mean, Filipinos would offer help, invite, among similar things, around 5 times. Japanese people do it just once. But both mean it very much. The intention was the same, but the force of conveying that intention was different. That was a bit hard for me to notice. I thought Japanese were just being polite, and did not mean what they said. So I was shy to go because I may just be a nuisance or something. Because in the Philippines, the host usually insists many many times. People text to remind you, and even follow up a few hours before. In the case of no reply, they will keep on contacting the person. Thinking about it, that seems too much. But that is actually the normal level for us. Here in Japan, I notice that it is entirely different. Apparently, once is always enough.
Offering help and asking for favors are the same. When Japanese people ask for help, they are not really very direct. When they are direct, it already means it is something very urgent and important that one should attend to immediately. I realize that maybe many people have asked for my assistance. That is possible that even until now maybe I still don't know some requests that have been asked of me. It is not only me that thinks this. I have talked to many exchange students and we have similar experiences. For example, when people in the Philippines ask for favors, they are very clear, direct, and just like in inviting, would do it around 5 times. When people fail to contact others, the one asking for a favor would keep on contacting again until they could reach the other person. Because if they don't try again, it means they no longer want your help. The other party then would not try to force to help the person because that would be assuming to much, and it comes across as a bit impolite.
Evading invites/requests is also different. My experience with Japanese is that they don't reply, or they would just smile. Filipinos would come up with an excuse, real or fake, and then say it. Not replying doesn't really mean they don't want to help or don't want to go. Maybe they just didn't get the message clearly enough.
Well, so far, this was the only thing that became noticeable to me. Maybe I can come up with more things next time.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
「なんか面白い異文化体験をした？」と聞いたところ、次のような答えが返ってきた。
・日本人は、頼みごとをするときは、1回だけ頼み、何回もお願いしない。
・フィリピン人は、それがSeriousなら、何回も頼む。
だから、次のような誤解が起きる模様。
・日本人は1回しかお願いしないから、日本人にはSeriousなお願いなのに、フィリピン人にそうだとわかってもらえない。
・フィリピン人は、何度もお願いするから、日本人にとっては「何回も言うなよ！」と思える時がある。
相互理解は、
「行為A＝意図A、という関係は異文化では成り立たない」
「だから、相手がなぜ行為Aをとっているのかを、『！？』と思う体験をしたときには必ず考えましょう」
ということだと思う。
滞在中の講師からのメールの原文はこちら。
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
The usual things that foreigners encounter in Japan is the Japanese sense of time, politeness. It is already very obvious, so I will no longer expound on it.
I would just like to concentrate on the one thing that was very striking to me, the indirectness of Japanese. I knew about it, but did not fully comprehend its dimensions.
First of all, Japanese people came across as very helpful people, just like Filipino people. However, Japanese people are not as vocal as Filipinos. I mean, Filipinos would offer help, invite, among similar things, around 5 times. Japanese people do it just once. But both mean it very much. The intention was the same, but the force of conveying that intention was different. That was a bit hard for me to notice. I thought Japanese were just being polite, and did not mean what they said. So I was shy to go because I may just be a nuisance or something. Because in the Philippines, the host usually insists many many times. People text to remind you, and even follow up a few hours before. In the case of no reply, they will keep on contacting the person. Thinking about it, that seems too much. But that is actually the normal level for us. Here in Japan, I notice that it is entirely different. Apparently, once is always enough.
Offering help and asking for favors are the same. When Japanese people ask for help, they are not really very direct. When they are direct, it already means it is something very urgent and important that one should attend to immediately. I realize that maybe many people have asked for my assistance. That is possible that even until now maybe I still don't know some requests that have been asked of me. It is not only me that thinks this. I have talked to many exchange students and we have similar experiences. For example, when people in the Philippines ask for favors, they are very clear, direct, and just like in inviting, would do it around 5 times. When people fail to contact others, the one asking for a favor would keep on contacting again until they could reach the other person. Because if they don't try again, it means they no longer want your help. The other party then would not try to force to help the person because that would be assuming to much, and it comes across as a bit impolite.
Evading invites/requests is also different. My experience with Japanese is that they don't reply, or they would just smile. Filipinos would come up with an excuse, real or fake, and then say it. Not replying doesn't really mean they don't want to help or don't want to go. Maybe they just didn't get the message clearly enough.
Well, so far, this was the only thing that became noticeable to me. Maybe I can come up with more things next time.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・