When I see in the mirror,
there is a beautiful, smiley, cheerful, kind, and positive person,
who seems to be likable and very unlikely to develop any kind of mental health problem.
But in the inside,
there is another perosn who is really dark, twisted, distorted, and depressed.
Unusually and Unbelievably depressed and dark.
No one, however, sees that unless I let them see it.
I can be easily a fake.
But probably that is what everyone else does at some point, every single day.
Even you are derpressed, there is a work to do, so you will leave yourself behind.
It is not a crazy thing.
I just went too far with it, which completely changed who I am.
Sometime GOOD person comes out. other time BAD person shows up.
That is just that and it is all about emotions.
Yes, sometime I still gets depressed, obviously frequently than others, and
actually some of the time still gets severely depressed,
but it is still better than before.
It is just once you develop sth like ED or depression, it is really really hard to get out from the system.
I cannot say I have entirely gotten out from the system but definitely better than anytime in these 12 years.