I wish I had a passion for something. When I think of it, I don't really know if I have one. I guess English has been a passion for me. I know it is nothing I can brag about since everybody does speak English, but anyways I always had a passion for it and worked for it.
Nonetheless, when it comes to a future job, I have no clue whatsover. I mean I've been doing this freakin job hunting but I still don't know what I wanna do. I am always jealous of people who work or try to find a job with a passion. I used to be like that i guess too. I was eager to be an interpreter or a kindergarten teacher.
I actually know what I wanna do. I don't really wanna write it down here but lets just say it is so hard to achieve. It is risky in a way and I am too chicken to admit that it IS actually what i want to do. I will need more education, time, and lot more money. I am so broke right now. I don't want to be dependent on my family anymore. I guess I should just suck it in and work for some random company? It's just not what I want to do now, tho. Am I asking or wanting too much? Life is not so easy enough for me to get what i want?
I really don't know. A part of me is actually dreaming about having a family as well. ( I never imagined or hoped this before, btw) Then I start thinking about my bf again. What are we gonna do? Me working in Japan and him studying or working in somewhere sooo far? How can it work? I mean it might be ridiculous to think about it now but hey still you know...he is a big part of me now.
I wish I had one more year at school to think and figure things out, and do things I will not be able to do when I start working. That's the biggest thing. I just wanna see more options. I still wanna work in the NPO.
Anyways I am not gonna hurry. I have good time, ay. I don't know but I will talk to as much people as possible and hopefully I will gradually figure things out.