昨日の深夜書いた漫談を適当に繋げてまとめた
これが日本語話者のぎこちない英語である
Recently I started to live on my own. Before I left my parents'house, my mom said to me, "We don't have enough money to afford do yourself well. But take care of meals. Don't buy a cheap one. And also travel to a kind of places and experience them." How!? What should I do? "Spend money for myself luxuriously while saving money," it's impossible, mom!
The first morning, I was very confused. My phone said, "It's 1 p.m.!" What the hell? Oh say, my mom always make me get awake. "Hey mom! Why didn't you let me get up!" Silence. 'Cause I'm living in my own now!
I make a hasty toilet, clap my hands "Bang Bang!"And then the next neighbor stomp his foot against the wall and shout "Shut up your pest!" I don't know we are happy!
In a mad hurry I left my house, I go to the nearest subway station. Because I use a bike ordinary, but today I have to be careful about my appearance. It I'm on a bike on the way, my hair must be exploded now, like having a lie-in. Then I took a train. When I'm on board, I often look out the window. I stand in front of a door. I look at the screenshot without saying "Wow How's good." of "This view is awesome!". Just I frown, and state at the window. Actually it's weird. So I was spoken to by a person is next to me. "Excuse me. What are you doing? Is there something to look at?". I said, "Just viewing. I love this humble scene." She looked being moved and said, "How philosophical! It's so brilliant!" I nodded proudly answered following words like "The means of lives are...", but a guy came up and asked to me, "Why are you talking to yourself?". Then I answered, "I'm talking with the reflection of my face in the window." I had better fiddle with my phone!
Say, speaking of a phone, everyone uses LINE. That messaging app. It has this great feature, stickers! That's so brilliant, for example when you don't have enough time to reply to your mom, "Hey you! You have to get home in 7 tonight!", I'm gonna tap like one, ":)" It's so useful, isn't it? It means "okay."! By the way, there are very pretty stickers in the stickers store. Since I like cute ones, sometimes I buy like "Oh this is good, this one, this one, and this one..." Too many stickers! Although I have them, I never use with my families. I don't wanna let my mom, dad or sister show it. Use it to only my friends or girlfriend. Are you too, right? But suddenly at 2 a.m., when I open the friends list, I realize and mumble, "Wait, who am I gonna send to this? ...I have no friends..."
That's it. Thank you!