I hate this..

I think.. I may end up either hurting myself or my 'mother' pretty soon. How could anyone stand to be married to this disgusting woman for 21 years?! Let alone willingly slept with her!?

She is such a horrible person. She goes on saying how she wanted to be a mother, yet she refuses to act like one! She acts like a drug addict 50 year old! She comes home from 'work' sits her fat ass on the couch all night, smoking pot, and watching stupid reality tv!

I'm tired of this... I have a feeling I'll be hurting myself out of anger and despair, or her if she throws one of her temper tantrums and throws personal attacks and insults at me again. I'm hitting my breaking point with this.

I wish that money wasn't so important... I wish I could just move out with out needing loads of money. I'm stuck here because I can't get a job because of the horrible job market (No one is hiring college students it seems!).

She says she'll probably die at 60... that's to far away for me. Die at 55 or something. Hurry up and die so everyone can be at peace you horrible thing.


I've been having some real bad head pains and pressure... it really hurts. Her temper tantrums of stomping around the house, throwing things, slamming things down, and screaming as loud as she can has made this migraine like headache so much worse... I'm actually crying in pain! It hurts so much because of that fat cow's actions!

I wonder if I sell all my possessions... I can live off of that money for a while? or at least give some money to friend's family to let me sleep on their couch for a while or something.

I'm tired of this... I'm tired of feeling horrible and having my person attacked left and right by someone who has no life and is to old to even attempt to create one. I'm in pain... I think I'll take a hard pain killer... it will knock me out... but at least I'll be out of pain and ignore that horrible thing...

I'm Back!

Oh wow... it really HAS been a long time since I last posted hasn't it?

I was just spending a lot of my summer break to rest and relax and not really updating any websites or blogs I have.. (　 ﾟ ▽ ﾟ ;)

I went to my friend Miyu's birthday party a while ago... she had it Victorian tea party themed... it was really cute and she loved my gift to her! o(〃＾▽＾〃)o


I also found out that my GPA is messed up.. I'd have to spend a few more semesters at my current college to fix it.. but I'm so sick and tired of how poorly this college is ran.. so I'm no longer going to be going to TUJ, but I found a language program that I'll be going to for a year and three months! I've already been accepted too! (*゜▽゜ノノ゛☆ I just need to send in a few documents really soon, but I need to rush my passport.. it could be tight before the deadline! Had I known the deadline was so close I would of went for a different semester! (-。－；)

My parents still aren't supportive of this.. but I've decided to not care. I have friends supporting me, and strangers supporting me (though hopefully once we all make it to Tokyo, we'll become good friends! (・ω・) it seems so far that next fall is when that'll happen) so I guess I'm fine without my parent's support... I'll just be using them to get care packages out of them I guess

I have so much to do in such little time! it kind of feels nerve wracking... Σ(ﾟдﾟ;) I need forms turned in, I need my passport, I need to pay fees, pay my tuition... gosh so much to do!

well I should stop rambling now... don't want to bore anyone to much...

Bai-Bai for Tonight!
(^-^)ノ~~

A Feel good post...

Not to toot my own horn... but I think my friend is going to love her birthday present ^^

5 canvases... three medium sized ones and two large ones. a pad of watercolor paper and a pad of acrylic paper... then pokemon goods of her two favorite pokemon ヾ(＠°▽°＠)ﾉ

I bought the art supplies for myself last year but I figure I'm never going to use these so I'll give them to someone who will use them and paints beautifully! (☆｡☆) I kind of want to commission her for a painting one of these days.. her last painting... just breath taking~!

Today I've been so lazy... and it feels great (*゜▽゜ノノ゛☆ but I've been procrastinating horribly with studying Japanese... I've been distracting myself by looking at apartments to check out the estimated price range so once I do move there and after the first semester at TUJ... I wont be in to much of shock over rent prices..

but I just may have to have a longer commute then I would in the dorms because of the price... ho hum.. (￣_￣ i)

ah well.. maybe things will change once I get there? haha! I'm dreaming! (≧▽≦)



Bai-Bai for Tonight!
(^-^)ノ~~