3人とも色々なおれが知らない人生のステージでそれぞれ山あり谷ありだけど何年経ってもわらって会えるのはすごいことだと思った
実際今まで生まれてから出会ったたくさんの人とすでにほぼ会わなくなっているし。
これからたくさん良いことがみんなに起こってほしいし、今なら妬みとか無しにほんとにそう思える。
昔の日記とか少し見返して思うけどどの写真でもやっぱ俺だけ精神年齢子供ぽい汗
24 July, 2024
Dear Diary,
Today, I joined the clinical observation program at the US Navy Yokosuka Hospital. It was such a long day.
It took more than three hours to get from my home to Dad’s place, where I dressed formally, and then he took me to the hospital by car. Recalling last year’s observation at the US Navy Hospital in Okinawa, where too many candidates were vying for the next fellowship, I felt sick of such competitive environments and regretted registering for this observation, to be honest.
First, in the morning, a couple of externship doctors gave short presentations on case reports. The topics were interesting, and the US doctors asked many questions, some of which sounded a bit aggressive. The presenting doctors seemed to struggle with giving quick and appropriate responses.
Next, the chief of the fellowship program explained the program via video chat. The shocking part was that I could hardly keep up with his supersonic speech. I lost so much confidence in my English skills that I doubted my ability to work and survive in the US, even if I managed to get there.
After that, we moved to the canteen, where we had the opportunity to have casual chats with US doctors. Compared to last year’s observation in Okinawa, the number of candidates was much smaller, and I had enough time to talk to each doctor. During these conversations, I realized how far behind my English was and felt frustrated when the words didn’t flow, and I couldn’t express what I wanted to say. Before coming here, I thought my English had reached a certain level—though I knew it wasn’t enough—but I assumed that working in the US would automatically help me nail it. Today’s experience shattered that delusion.
Overall, I am very satisfied with joining this program because it made me realize my current ability and position. I feel a strong urgency to improve my language skills. Despite spending a long time learning English, I couldn’t imagine how far I still have to go to master it from my current level. It’s time to wake up and immerse myself in English as much as I can if I am really keen to speak English and work in the US. At the same time, I must never forget that I am learning English not out of duty, but out of love for it and the pure fun it brings.
12 July, 2023
Dear Diary,
Today, Mom visited my home from Tokyo. Her mental state has been unstable over the past few years, and she often complains about minor things. I advised her to come here to help her feel refreshed.
At dinner, we went to a restaurant near Nakamozu station that serves fresh sashimi. She seemed to enjoy the meal, which made me feel relieved. However, she still worried about small matters, like choking and stomach symptoms. Although her routine head MRI scans and angiography showed that her brain vessel diameters were within normal ranges, she insists that her symptoms are due to a stroke and that she will die soon. This gives me a headache.
I have been working as a doctor for two years, but I can’t wrap my head around her mindset and have no idea how to solve her problems. She doesn’t listen to anyone and keeps annoying the people around her. I wish she would overcome her issues someday, and we could have a fun time together like we used to.