Source:
https://www.social-innovation.jp/column/201710_06/
The best way to find your shining self
Dempagumi.inc Mirin Furukawa
2017.10.20
Idol group Dempagumi.inc acting center, the popular singing and dancing gamer idol Mirin Furukawa. In the past, she explains how she experienced being bullied and withdrawn (hikikomori). In this modern time that everyone has difficulty living in, Furukawa was able to recover from a painful past and obtain success as an idol. From that past lifetime, we will explore “how to find your shining self.”
－－“Resetting” herself at a young age when she transferred schools:
What were you like as a child?
Furukawa: Since long ago, I was the “bullied character”, so even if I was picked on, I rarely got angry, so probably they thought it was OK to mess with me. From there, things began to escalate and I was bullied often.
But, up until primary school, because of my father's work, we moved about once every 2 or 3 years. Because of this, the bullying only got worse and I would think “ah this is gonna be bad”, and it only seemed like when we moved that I was saved.
－－You were pretty calm when considering your own situation, weren't you?
Furukawa: When you move, you can reset all your relationships with people, and you can go to places where no one knows your past. Before moving I would create a new character from the beginning, so that at the next school I could do it properly; I was planning on getting into a circle of friends with a lot of happy kids and having a fun school life, but it never actually turned out that way (lol).
In middle school, because we didn't move for 3 years, I got the “authentic” bullying experience.
－－Specifically, how were you bullied?
Furukawa: Mainly it was girls who did it, like hiding my shoes or messing with my clothes. But because of my personally, again I never got mad in response.
While inside my heart it was such a painful experience, I was able to do club activities with 5 members I was close to in the the brass band; I really loved these activities and I think I was only able to get through school because I wanted to participate in the club. It wasn’t just a place that I could play the clarinet that I really loved, but also a safe place I could hide away.
Besides, I would be embarrassing to be absent from school. I didn't want people to start thinking, “oh she's suffering” or “she's giving in to the bullying.” Since I didn't want to show that kind of weakness, I would play stupid and act like “this doesn't bother me at all.”
——That really sounds painful. Did your parents worry about you?
Furukawa: At that time, I didn't say anything to my parents about the bullying. I really didn't want to lose to bullies.
Besides, I had some kind of “escape place.” Aside from my club activities, when I would get home I would go online and enter almost a dream-like state; without knowing my face or my age, every night I would chat with people. While typing on the keyboard, it was so fun to have endless conversations with people from beyond my computer screen. This kind of experience defined this period of time for me.
After that, I really got into a particular online RPG that was popular at the time, and was invited to the kind of “hangout spots” where players would gather and chat. By interacting with older players I was able to learn different internet behavior and manners.
－－In Takamatsu, I heard that you withdrew from school for half a year and became a recluse.
Furukawa: Actually, at the same time I enrolled at Takamatsu, I started a part time job at a sushi shop, so I wasn't completely a recluse.
At that time, there was a reason I was doing that part time job.In middle school while I was being bullied, I saw an idol the same age as me singing and dancing on TV. Watching her I thought, if I got on TV and sparkled like that, wouldn’t that completely surprise all those that bullied me in the past? But then, to become an idol requires many different kinds of lessons doesn't it. Since I was young, I took lessons in rhythmic gymnastics and classical ballet, so intuitively I knew that these cost money.
When I told my father “I want to work so I'm quitting high school”, he flipped out. Even though I said work, it was just a part time job, so of course he would always be worried about me right? Because I really forced myself to withdraw from high school, I still feel a little sorry for it today.
－－What kind of idol did you want to become?
Furukawa: When I got tired of only playing online games, I learned of the existence of arcades, and started going out to these frequently. There I started really getting into these so-called otoge (sound games) like BeatMania and Dance Dance Revolution.
At these game centers, there were many Internet/(gamer?) types of people. Many of the regulars were older males, and I felt like the youngest there. But because we were all gathered there because of our common interest in games, naturally we would have conversations with each other. From this I started to feel comfortable, since it was the first time in some years that I had face to face experience with people in the real world.
In parallel with going to game centers, I started attending performing arts auditions but wasn't having any success. I began to think “I don't think I'm making any progress” and started to get depressed. At that same time, Akihabara’s maid cafes started getting noticed and I thought “if I go to a maid cafe, maybe I'll have some kind of chance.” So with that I jumped into the true world of Akihabara.
Working at a maid cafe was really a good experience. At that time, though it was necessary, I wasn't good at communication at all, but to “play the role as a maid” was fun. Plus, to see my photo posted on the home page and see the number of customers supporting me increasing made me really happy.
However, I started to think “at this rate I won't become an idol”, and started searching for another way; another girl working at the maid cafe with me then invited me to go with her as she prepared to join “Akihabara Dear Stage.” From there, the group “Dempagumi.inc” was formed and we became the predecessors, since 2008 I began my work as an idol.
——Since becoming an idol, what kind of things have you noticed different?
Furukawa: Since long ago, I really loved the “idols that fascinate with song and dance”, so I think I want to cherish live performances. Other than lives, now if I use SNS there are many ways to interact with fans. For example, if I take a photo of a thermometer when I have a fever and say “even with this fever, please come see me tomorrow”, it's kind of…(lol) Personally I want to play more fairly...
——You really hate losing don't you. Aren't there things that make continuing as an idol difficult?
Furukawa: Because it was my dream to become an idol, mentally, there hasn't been anything I've considered so difficult. But there have been many times that my weak points were really tested. For example, sometimes at handshake sessions there have been times I would completely space out, the office staff would tell me “don't get distracted”, and later I wouldn't be able to express myself and would get worried.
Because I never really spoke with classmates in school and only really online and with people at game centers, I only really know topics related to games. Because of this, if like I'm in an elevator with people, small talk is truly my weak point, and I get irritated and think “if I was in front of my keyboard I would be able to say something!” (lol)
Because if this, I'm reading a conversation technique book, and for the sake of speaking with people I've done some training. For example, when I encounter something exciting, how can I express how fun this is without using the word “tanoshii?” Lately, I think I've gradually become able to accurately express my feelings.
——So you feel choosing your words is important?
Furukawa: I think it's very important! Because I've heard so many impressive words from many people in this type of work, I'll never forget what Mofukuchan taught us in the past, “Put your dreams into words!”
In fact, at the time Dempagumi was formed and I started doing game related work, I unconsciously said “I want to do it”, and it happened. I think even everyday insignificant communication is the same, these kind of words surely exist too don't they?
－－Now, can you give a message to those who are suffering from bullying?
Furukawa: Let's see... right now, the words I'll say to those who having a painful time, I know it's very difficult.
No matter how many times I say it, because I didn't want to lose, if my past experience being bullied in middle school was a different, would I have been able to spring back from that painful time and become the idol I am today? In 2014 when we first stood in the Budoukan as Dempagumi, and times I've been allowed to speak as an MC, I would think, “I wasn't wrong to do this.” Because time has passed, there won't be another chance to face each other.
Also, I want you to have many “escape places.” Even if you don't go to school, free school, or home schooling etc., if it becomes difficult, it is ok to escape.