(I wrote this a few years ago.)
Thursday was P.T.A. at my daughter’s high school. It was held in the gym, and each parent sat next to their child. Each class formed a long line of parents and children sitting next to each other. My daughter is the second student on her class name list, so she and I sat second from the front. This is a terrible position for a teenager because almost the whole school can see you since you’re in front of everyone. And since I’m a big foreign parent, I really stick out like a sore thumb (目立つーー悪い意味) . This means that my daughter also sticks out because she’s sitting next to me, so everyone knows that she’s the daughter of this strange person! I’m used to being in this position, but it can be embarrassing for a teenager to be different from her peers (仲間).
So before I left my house for the P.T.A. meeting, I made sure that I was neatly and conservatively dressed, so as to blend in (溶け込む) with the other parents as much as possible. (Hah!) Luckily, my daughter loves me very much, so when I arrived at the empty chair next to her in the gym, she smiled and sat close to me so that our shoulders were touching. Awwww, she’s such a sweetheart! I thought.
Then a teacher began speaking. She was explaining about college entrance exams. It seems the process has changed a lot since my older children took the exams. I saw that many of the mothers sitting nearby were furiously (必死に) taking notes about what the teacher was saying. They were highlighting sentences on the handouts (プリント), and writing memos in the margins (余白に). There were so many handouts!
I didn’t really understand what the teacher was saying. I leaned my head towards my daughter and whispered, “Do you understand what they’re talking about?” in English. She whispered back to me, very sternly, “日本語！” I realized that I had embarrassed her by speaking English to her in front of her friends. I decided to stay quiet and just hope that she was understanding all this college stuff. A little while later the teacher joked a little, and I laughed under my breath (very quietly). My daughter looked at me sharply (厳しく） and shook her head (No!).
After that I was careful to stay as silent and as motionless as possible. I wasn’t angry with my daughter. I was a teenager once. I remember how embarrassing it was to be different and stand out from other people my age. I’m glad I’m middle-aged (中高年) now because I don’t care very much anymore. It’s much more relaxing to be older!
So anyway, later that evening during dinner, I was trying to speak in Kansai dialect. I know lots of Kansai dialect (関西弁), but I can’t get the intonation perfect no matter how much I practice. My daughters (both of them) get irritated (イライラする) when I try to speak in Kansai dialect. They don’t dislike Kansai dialect, but they dislike it when I try to speak it, probably because I’m so bad at it and sound ridiculous!
I could see that my daughter was getting irritated when I tried repeating after a comedian on TV who was speaking Kansai dialect. She said, “もうやめて.” I teasingly (揶揄うように) told her, “I’m going to speak Kansai dialect loudly at the next P.T.A.” She told me, “If you do, I’ll have to quit school.”
My poor daughter. Having a big foreign mom at P.T.A. is embarrassing enough. Having a big foreign mom speaking Kansai dialect at P.T.A. would end her school career.
Here are two funny videos of parents embarrassing their children at school on purpose (わざと).
