Today I was walking near school to find some BD cakes for my friends.
I ended up not finding any nice ones, and headed for Daimaru Tokyo.
I often go to Daimaru but today I felt different as I got off at Otemachi, walking slowly toward Tokyo station, looking up tall buildings all familiar to me the same way I did while I was working around the same district just a year ago. As I was walking in Tokyo station, I ran into a person from my former company. I wasn't working in the same department with her, but had daily contact as her department was next to mine. She is probably about 20 yrs older than me. When I was leaving my former company, she gave me a "key chain" which I really like, and showed her today that I am using it.. I didn't expect to go to Daimaru today, but such coincidences do happen! Although I also think "chances" or coincidences are "meant to be", and its up to the individual as to what decisions one makes to "open one's path" and "possibilities" of encountering something new or unexpected surprises.
After buying the cake, I knew where I wanted to go to lunch, the Chinese restaurant near Tokyo Station where I often went when I was extremely busy with work. I thought I would be able to recall something that I can't recall in my daily life now. I guess I am kind of "lost" in my daily life, forgetting about what my ambitions were or "sense of hunger" to accomplish my goals, or the important things in life to me.
I reflected about myself. What should change, what have changed, what I should not change, and was able to go back to "ground zero", and did gain back confidence. As I looked out the window, it was the same scenery as I had seen 1 year ago. I ordered the same favorite menu. But I am changing. I want a career and a happy life. What is a happy life to me? I want to live for the people I love. It's not about how much money I want. Although it is better to have more than none, I don't view money as MOST important for me. It may be because I am fairly satisfied with my former income (though it is not high at all compared to other people of my age were making), and because I can earn more after getting my MBA. So I am really satisfied as long as I can have a happy life with a person who I respect and can give my love, and have a family. That is really what I wish for. That is all I can think of as my happiness at the moment. People change so I don't know what I'll be thinking about after I ever do become happy in my ideal way. That's that.
So today's unexpected visit to Tokyo station has really enabled me to reflect on myself. The short time spent here really meant a lot to me, perhaps more than any class at school..
My friend's BD party turned out to be a warm and wonderful party, everyone was happy and the two BD ladies looked so happy.