「チノ検査もするなら明日は朝食は摂るべからず」
と言うので、へー、最近は知能検査までも行われるのか、でも二十歳を過ぎて自分の知能指数が明らかになったところで今後の人生はどうにも変わらんやろ、と思いながら話を聞いていたら、どうやら、チノ検査は「血の検査」すなわち血液検査のことだった。
それにしても今日の医者は妙だった。言葉がとても少なかったので私は不安になった。
あの注射器は使い回しじゃないだろうか、心電図とる機械はちゃんと働いてたのかしら、と、後から後から不安なことが出てきて、まぁ相手は練熟した医者であって、これらは杞憂に過ぎないだろうけれど、不安は膨れ上がる一方なので、帰宅後、その病院のホームページを今一度読んだりして、大丈夫大丈夫、と、なんとか自分を宥めようとしている。
昔、ある人が、
「医学部に入るには全てのテストで１００点取るくらいじゃないとダメ、って厳しいようだけど、でも、それくらい頭が良くて几帳面な人じゃないと、僕は自分の命を預けようと思えない。」
と言ったのがすごく私の印象に残っている。逆説的だけど、確かにそうだな、と思ったから。
その人に会うことはもう二度とないと思うけれど、言葉は時を生き永らえて、今も心でキャッチボールしてるような気がする。というのが人と人とが出会った証拠だと思う。
と思った今日。
Today, I took a medical examination for the first time in the past two years.
Since I'm not familier with the area where I live now, I just picked a hospital which is the closest one to my house to go.
And I found that it was wrong way to choose one hospital from many.
The doctor who took care of my examination today was very taciturn.
He didn't say much.
He never smiled.
He only said, 'next!' when I switched one test to another.
His too less words made me feel anxious because I could have no idea what was happening to my body; whether I'm totally healthy or there are some kinds of problems in my body.
Feeling so nurvous, only thing I could do was to conclude that the doctor's silence represented 'no problem'.
Actually, the doctor reminds me of something:
A friend of mine one day said, 'to go to mdeical school in Japan, one must be absolutely genius, it could be said that he's never allowed to make only one misatake on the entrance exam, which sounds kinda insane to me. Everyone makes mistakes. But then, I never wanna see a doctor who can't pass one exam perfectly. I never want him to make a mistake on my body, or on my life. Doctors should be perfect.'
I thought what he said was kinda paradox, but it impressed me because it is so true.
...I wonder how he's doing now.
I don't think I'll meet him someday.
Still, his words remain here.
...I wonder if some of my words remain over there.
Paradox/w-inds.
出来ることならすべてを二人で感じたい
それでも自分なりの歩んできた過程で
答えを欲しがっている
そんなParadox抱えてる
It would be so nice if we can have the same feeling
To all the things happenning.
But then, just like you are not me, I am not you.
I can't ignore my own feeling that I find on my own way.
This paradox's bothering me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAl4CObwiIQええじゃないか。