Sometimes I want to tell you about me everything, but sometimes I just want to hide. My personality has two sides, however I don’t find myself schizophrenic. I have to admit that I change my mind quite often, and get bored very easily. I like to change my computers background every day. I love to rearrange my room, or just change the pictures on the wall. On the other hand I’m very loyal to people. I love to love, and I hate to be misunderstood. Happily ever after exists, and I don’t care if you don’t agree. Marriage is cool. I want that piece paper and the ring on my finger. Seems I have an extrovert moment, b/c I usually don’t talk this much about myself. I want to get drunk in the yard under the midnight sun. I used to eat the sun when I was little, and I still do it sometimes. I hate cliches, but they are so true. Can’t stop eating when I’m bored. Lame but I love to lay in bad and watch stupid TV shows. I want to be happy. I’m afraid of decisions. Usually it takes me forever to make one proper decision, and less choice I have the easier to make that decision. I want to do the best in every situation, however it is impossible. There are many ways to do one thing, I tend to choose the most complicated one. Sometimes I’m really shy, but not all the time. I have moments when I want to hug the world and smile ‘til it hurts, but there are moments when I don’t want be alive. I love to go to school, but not to study. I want to know everything, but without spending days and days reading books. I want to visit every country in the world. Candyking is the best. I always wanted to have my own blog, with my ideas and have photos as well, but turns out I’m too lazy to actually start one. I used to browse the net for design photos all day long, and had many different folders, but I got tired of it, and don’t do it anymore. I love to have everything organized. Best design item is clear plastic chair. I have to have one one day. I love black and white, it’s never boring. I just. Currently I try to teach English to kids. Not bad at all, but it’s a challenge I have to say. I kinda like kids. Babies are the best, except when they cry all day and al night for no reason and when diaper needs to be changed. That is just nasty. I think I want kids. I always wanted to go to Paris. I thought if I go there with my real love we’ll be together forever. I guess I didn’t go with the right person. It was a mess. I still love Paris, and I want to go back, with someone else. I want to say I LOVE YOU by the Eiffel tower, even though I know it’s very trashy. Gifts are great even small gifts. I hate price tags. Depressing to see those numbers. I used to be an exchange student, and that was one of the best years in my life, however it was messed up. I love Americans. New York and San Francisco is great. I love home made hamburgers, and sometimes I eat McDonald’s . Charging batteries are waste of time. Why can’t we do that without wires? It’s 2008! Sometimes I’m very rude, and egoist. Lexus SC430 is my favorite car, but only if the driver comes with. I want to write like Carrie does in Sex and the City. Sitting in Starbucks with friends is awesome. I love to sit in coffee shops hiding behind my laptop and watch other people. I used to judge a lot, but I had to realize it’s ugly. I hate to be judged by strangers, guess they hate be judged by me as well. Stuffed animals are annoying. House repairing shows are great. I cold watch those all day long. I want to have an interior designer friend. I think most of the people go to IKEA to have dinner there. Kitchens are always messy. It’s always fun to watch advertisements in foreign languages. Riding a bus could be fun, but not the waiting in the bus stop. I usually love to plan things, but never do them. unfortunately I promise things way too easily. When I travel I love to take long walks. I always want to know what’s under the surface. They say I’m more serious than fun. Maybe they are right. It’s not bad though. I decided to be very simple with this text, but I think it’s too simple. I don’t like it... I want to swing, and kiss in the rain. Forests are very scary at night, take me there! Snow is beautiful, but not in my shoes. Airplanes are the best things on this earth. Can anyone explain me how they stay in the air? Turbulance is awesome. I scream when I ride a rollercoster, Being alone is not that bad. I love to sleep next to my loved one. I drink milk. Not fat milk though. It taste like water, but I drink it anyways. Grocery shopping could be fun, depending on the company. I love when they have hug pillows on the floors at bookstores. Eating out is cool. I loved when we went to the casino, and I had no idea what to do, but won 5 euros. Shame you lost 10. If you rent that room, invite me! I want to sleep with you. Pluto is not a planet anymore, at least thats what they say. Why do you call a water see, if it has sweet water? It should be called something else. Invite a new word or something. I love books. Usually don’t read them though... I used to collect magazines. I hate to be alone at night. When everything is silent around me I feel lonely. It’s easy to make my cry. I’m too sensitive. I should too much...I want to be loved. I eat in my bed. I love to take long hot showers. Wet hair is sexy. I loved what we did in the sauna together. I want to have a picnic on the stairs of that big white church. Do you remember when we watched the whole last season of Sex and the City, and had pizza at 3 am? I want to live forever. I’m terrified of age and death. Life is too complicated. Humans made it difficult. I really want to visit Africa. Earth looks absolutely beautiful from the space. Sometimes I don’t understand people. They make choices that they shouldn’t make, without thinking about the possible results. Not like I never did that, but I’m only 22, of course I made some bad decisions in the past, but I really hate when older people make this stupid mistake. Why don’t think about the possible results of their choices? Sometimes when I at expect it good things can happen. For example there are those people, who always there right beside me, when I need it. I mean how is that possible? Is it luck, or called something else? I think I am a lucky guy, but sometimes things don’t work out the way I imagined... Is is because I have too high expectations? Or is it simply just a sign from above? Do we read the signs correctly? Do those sign really exist, or we somehow make ourselves believe in the existence of them? In a way it makes easier to accept the things that happened to us? Are we forced by our nature to create these supports? I was outside today. The sun is shining it is clearly the beginning of the new season. Spring is about to come, another one, wondering if I spend it alone, or finally in love with someone. I’m pretty pessimist on this topic I have to say. I usually try to be optimistic and its not that hard, when good things happen to you all the time it’s s little to easy to be extremely positive, but unfortunately as I mentioned above I’m pretty sensitive, so only one bad thing can make all the good look like nothing, and I can only concentrate on the bad thing. I start to think about that, and keep thinking about it, however it does no good at all, coz it’s just building up into a huge mess in my head. Those are the nights when I can’t go to sleep, when I don’t see any good any bright, and I wish that life could end in that very second. Of course it is partly just the drama stuff, but still... Well the weather here is just unpredictable like many things in life. Constantly changing. Just a minute ago it was gray and snowing, and now it’s the prettiest sunshine you can imagine with clear blue sky. Loosing a job, loosing an opportunity is awful, and brings up so many new questions. I’m unemployed now. Should I stick to the dreams I have, or simply walk away. When do we call it walking away? It could be called ‘taking another option’ Sometimes we have to loose something to understand it’s true meaning. Maybe I did a wrong decision I wanted to get away from my possible future in hoping to get something better, but what if this possible better future way wasn’t meant for me? Maybe I should have stayed home and finish what I started. Maybe we shouldn’t just leave when the road gets rough. I was told that I’m childish, unresponsible, unpredictable, manipulating people, egoist, snobbish, and full of shit. Well, that is bullshit. These comments lead to me to make decisions I don’t want to make. Those comments came from people who wanted to hurt me, coz I didn’t act like they wanted me to act. Why did they try to hurt my feelings? Why people bother to hurt others? I have some really interesting experiences in life, and I’m still learning so much new things. Unfortunately I usually unable to concentrate on the things I have and keep wanting things I could have and I mean mental things as well, not just material. My best friend just told me that I can’t appreciate the small thins in life. I don’t see them. She might be right. I have so many things to learn, but I don’t wanna give up myself. I want to be myself, but in a way when I can give something back to others. To people who deserve to get help, because I got help so many times from people, and gave back nothing. I’m really afraid that I used them.