I give up ...

lately the world has been slaping my face
to be honest is reality ...
I guess I have been dreaming for too long
a really high dream that was impossible to
I tried to look or to put a face into that dream
tried to have a feeling... because I have never had a strong feeling
now I notice that I've been in this situation for too long
and is not longer healthy anymore
I'm sorry to all who I tried to relate to these dream
I do sorry...
Aki...I'm sorry
I wrote you I love you
I do in somehow...I do admire you
and love in somehow your way of being for what
I have been able to apreciatte
I'm just sorry for using you for my ilusion
you're my platonic love..I have never been obsses
but I just pictured you as my charming prince
I'm sorry...
now finally I'm facing the fact that such a thing is stupid
if I dream...I must do it in a correct way
I have always wanted to go to japan
but in my dilusion I thought that I might find you
and willbe like destiny
please laugh, it's the only thing you can do if you read this
because there's no sense in this
of course you're not going to read this either
but let's say is a simbolical way of doing things
I will imagine for a last time that you will read this
and with this I say "it's over" for me
I'll now onw admire you in a proper way
like I always should have
just a musician, a great musician who I admire
and that's the end...
the end ...

(*￣Oﾉ￣*)

maybe I'm stupid I don't know
I keep saying silly thing without thinking much about it
just saying them because I feel like
because the feeling is strong at that moment and if I don't say them is like
i don't know...
is just that I don't want to have the future doubt i mean the wondering
wondering that maybe thing would be different...
but you never know the result until you say it

was like when I got rejected...even when i got rejecte i was happy
because I was able to say I was "feeling" in that moment
then I realised I actually idn't like this person so much
but the lesson I got from it
was to take the courage and go for it
even when now recently sent an email to someone towards ameba
it was silly
but it was something that keep bugging me
first I do really want to know this person better...i know english probably wont speak very much...hey! I can be his englishteacher XD ..why not?
the second...what is happening over japan really worries me...if I was able,I would like to help just pray for it... but this personalsos worries me...that's why I said that... just the stupid thought that something might happen to him
don't know just brakes my heart and makes me feel like hell...
Sosorry if it was silly...I hope he'll be able to understand why I write such a silly things.

Pray for Japan

How to start?...
What happened in Japan was and it's a real shock...for furtune I don't have family but still is a worry..Japan was devastated by an earthquake and tsunami and now they're having problems with radioactivity of nuclear plants...
Here in New Zealand we sufered of earthquake as well not so strong as Japan's one.
In my case the most terrifying moment was when happene the earthquake in Chile and my mother was there,that was scary for fortune she was ok and nowshe's with me.
When that happeneda lot peopleasked me abot my family and friends,I was surprised by the concern of so many people.
Now I do that too...I have asked about the well-being of families of the japanes people I know,which luckily are safe.
In my case and in the case of common people like me,the only we can do is pray or have Japan inour thoughts,they need stenghtan union and hopefully they will rise and move on ... and I'm sure many nations will help if they need,like I know now that are many organizations helping.
I have nothing more to say...My prayers are for Japan and japenese people,please be strong and take care of yourselfs.
Outside there's people praying for you.