Hello hello, stressed out kai desu.
I've been sounding like a broken record always churning out the phrase "I'm tired".
Lately, I've been thinking too much again... (^_^;)
Today I had met with two of my bestestestest friends and we had two quite serious conversations. As I reflect on them, I wonder... since when did we all change?
Our conversations which used to be dominated by the mundane topics of teenage life have now turned into deep philosophical talks about the future. When did we make the switch from bantering about gossip to sharing health tips? O__o;; Somehow I feel like a middle-aged person already...
Ah, I'm 19... soon to be 20... the big 2-0 ne? How scary!
Under the law, I'm an adult already (over 18~~) but twenty just seals the deal. When I was younger, the image of a 20 year old in my head was someone who walked upon the successful road of life, someone who knew exactly what they were doing and everything was crystal clear to them.
Unfortunately, I'm just about the furthest thing from that. I feel so lost and confused. Everything I do just leads to more questions being asked and the answers are no where to be found.
Speaking of which, where did my teenage years go? Where are those reckless risks? That rebellious "holier than thou" attitude? What have I ended up accomplising in the 2 decades I've been alive?
what.
what.
what.
The only consolence I find is that seemingly all my friends are stuck in the same position as I am. (<3 you guys)
Responsibilities piled upon responsibilities.
The right way... the roundabout way... which is which? How can you tell what is white and what is black? Or shall we just blindly grope about in the dark hoping for that magical light that can clear away all the doubts?
Perhaps it's all society. It's because of how the world functions that all this stress is thrown at us at such a young age... The pressures are starting to get to us.
Practicality vs. what your heart wants.
The romantic or the realist.
No one wants to wake up from their dreams only to find a tedious life.
I realized that I have given in. Riding upon practicality's coattails, I bow down to The Man. It's the only way? Survival of the fittest? Play by their established rules? I guess so...
I dont know anymore.
I can only hope for a moment of epiphany to hit me soon.
At least I know that I love my friends and they will always understand <3 We'll go through this together!
*images Mephron singing "we're all in this together"* ..... *headdesk*
ANYWAY! Sorry you had to read all that~ if you actually got through all that, GOOD JOB! It's past midnight here and I'm feeling a bit delirious. Midnight ramblings ftw!
I promise a more light-hearted and entertaining post sometime within the next few days! I actually have exciting events coming up, yay~~~~
Night!