I thought I could escape several years ago.
But my moment thinking not so good is coming back.
I know I can just get out in time, but now I feel the same depression again.
Having been living for almost 40 years, and yet I don't find the balance where/how to live on this planet.
People say a nomal life is boring.
But do you realise how much that "normal" life worth for?
I'm the one who was always said to be "smart", "beautiful", "best", "special"... all the "nice" things.
And then
WHY?
Why have I not found my balance in this world?
I'm really tired of existing as I am.
That's the problem, I know.
I've been having hard time to admit my own value.
I don't trust any words that I hear from others.
Am I worth that much?
It seems like my journey to the full realisation continues a bit more.
NO intention to die yet.
That's something I quit 10 years ago.
Will not give up yet.