I thought I fell in love, but maybe not. I don't feel anything I used to - no heart beat, no sadness when I'm ignored, no happiness when we talk. But I know for sure I want to be there for that person - to help carry the load when it gets too heavy.
Feels like my heart's gotten cold. When I was young, I don't think I smiled that much. Perhaps one of those times is coming again. Yeah, I laugh often, but the happiness that comes with that lasts a millisecond.
I want to fall in love.
If it doesn't work, yeah it feels like shit, but just having somebody you want to see every day makes life more meaningful. I want somewhere to go - a desire that gives me a purpose. Right now I'm just meandering my way through each day. Every moment slips through my fingers; nothing changes.
What the hell does it take to make myself happy? Maybe I'm not trying hard enough.