When all forgetten

Let's forget that I'm a girl.

Let's forget that I'm a Japanese.

Let's forget that I'm your student.

Let's forget that I'm your friend.

Let's forget that I'm your lover.

Let's forget that I'm your daughter.

Let's forget all my belongings and see what's left.

Me and my passion

I’ve grown up in a society where people, especially women, are supposed to play our roles. But this is not fucking 18^thcentury. Nobody gets killed by disobedience. Nobody gets arrested by criticisms. Nobody gets stigmatized by pursuing to go beyond conformity.

However, still in this country we tend to yield to the powerful, act within social norms, follow well-trodden paths. But, why? We have all the possible rights people in undemocratic countries yearn for, but few of us seem to make the most of it.

As I was having these thoughts, I decided to look into myself and tried to find reasons why I couldn’t help but have such an ambition to live and work in Canada or some other countries where I’d find the way I am right. I am still ignorant, so honestly not really sure Canada is the best country to live in. But I just cannot see Japan on the list. I still have so much to learn and see that there’s more to life than to make enough money to live. If making enough money to live is what you want, be my guest, Japan is exactly the place you’re looking for.

One of the reasons I can think of is homogeneity of Japan. A good aspect of it is that I can live comfortably with other individuals, with most of whom I share my perspectives for most of matters. But sometimes I fear that it numbs my mind, decays my bones, and kills my spirit. At least, that’s how I've felt after I came back to Japan from Canada. In Canada, I’ve met different people, opinionated people, who work hard to cause a change on the fields they are in. I’d like to be one of them and believe that getting out of Japan and listening to the world will be the first step.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa

I remember the first time I encountered his works dates back to the weary days of my junior high. As I tried to recall the details of his work “Hana” at my workplace, I couldn’t stop myself from reading his books all over again.

What I like about his work is the classic but by far the shrewdest sarcasm about the nature of human beings that you rarely find in other Japanese authors, as well as the hidden dynamism of each character’s emotions behind his words. Many would find his depiction of human is cynical and grim. Nonetheless, he leaves me contemplating how we should live along with our own egoism and pursue our freedom in societies.