Theres little thats been written yetConcerning teenage etiquette,So as a sort of useful guideSome gruesome cases lie insideOf teenagers who lost their wayAnd ultimately had to pay Youll read about the tragic fateOf Pete, who couldnt get a date,And Jen, whose hopes and dreams were quashed, And James, who staunchly never washed This book could be, and no mistake,The best investment that you make,So quickly pluck it from the shelfOr suffer some such fate yourself