I have been going through some health problems that have made me start thinking heavily about my mortality. I have been having dreams and thoughts about things that happened at different stages of my life. It scares me, but at the same time it is relieving because I'm believing my time on earth is almost over and I won't have to hurt anymore. I've been feeling like I've been nothing, but a burden on people because I've been going through such difficulties. I've even tried suicide a few years ago because I didn't want to continue suffering. I don't know why my life has been selected to be so difficult, but I would like a break and have something positive happen to me that allows me to live in peace and abundance even for a moment.