Projects (Progress Reports orThe Movie Business
It's a brisk, late-autumn evening, and I'm enjoying the view from my old office. Everyone's gone home for the day and I have kept all of the lights turned out. I just finished masturbating into an empty coffee cup on the desk by the window (probably belonging to Tomo-kun), and as I look out at the expressway and the Kyoto skyline, I begin wondering what it is, exactly, that separates us from the animals. Is it pornography? And is civility a by-product of soci--this thought is interrupted by the ringing of the desk phone. I shouldn't have answered it.
I find out Kurachi-san invested a great deal of his share of our pachinko parlor earnings in the production of a movie, and word of it made its way all the way up to Boss Takeda. It was Kou-kun on the line. "Who gives a shit what he spends it on," I told him. "I used to spend my roll on taking clients and friends to the soaplands!" (Soaplands, formerly called "Turkish baths", is where men go to be soaped or lubed up, and then satisfied manually, orally, and sometimes, though it's illegal, through vaginal penetration. They can be found in the alleyways of every city in Japan.) I am in disbelief of what I have just shared with Kou-kun.
"You did...?"
I am forced to sound indifferent. "Yeah, I used to."
"Boss wouldn't have liked that."
"What, and you never did?!"
"No."
I'm scrambling for arguments, "well, what the fuck?! I was doing the Family a FAVOR--I was taking clients!!"
"Yeah, to a competitor."
I take a beat, "well, it's not my fault we don't own any soaplands!"
"Yeah, maybe we should."
"Yeah, maybe we should."
We both snicker. He tells me Kurachi-san went in with some Krauts on this film called "Baruto no Gakuen" that's being shot in Shikoku, the smallest of Japan's four main islands. Kou-kun, not totally confident that Boss Takeda would accept his sole report on the investment, talks me into flying out to the set with him to report on it.
We take the early flight the next morning and then an annoyingly bumpy taxi ride out to the sticks in a town called Bando where, apparently, Kurachi-san's money has built a makeshift German internment camp.
"Guys, GUYS!" He gets up out of his collapsable seat to greet us with sunglasses and that ridiculous smile of his.
"Kurachi-san, you dumbfuck," I start, "who the hell spends two million on a fuckin' Nazi movie shot in Japan? And would you look at that?! (Referring to the set decorations.) Everything's written in Japanese!! The gate to the CAMP's not even written in German! You're so fuckin' dumb." I'm still indulging in the authority I exercised when talking to Kou-kun on the phone and the flight over. "You know we're not here to pound popcorn, right?"
"I know why you're here. And keep it down with the Nazi comments--this is a World War I movie."
I do decide to tone it down a notch after noticing the angry eyes of German actors and crew staring back at me--one pair of which I actually RECOGNIZE.
"Kou-kun, get me a bottle of water," I order impulsively.
Kou-kun quickly brings me a chilled bottle of Crystal Geyser and I approach her with it, wearing one of my tailored, dark-navy, wool suits, an off-white scarf, and black gloves--all purchased with the Ward-wardrobe budget. She's wearing a rather plain sweater and jeans and is interpreting for the director as I walk up beside her and try to hand her the bottle. She starts to take it, but hesitates when she finally recalls who I am. I react by smiling at her bitterly while completely ignoring the director, place the bottle firmly in her hand, and turn to walk away. I am insulted to hear her resume interpreting so quickly after my back is turned, but I walk off the set back over to Kou-kun and Kurachi-san. Some of the crew are admiring my shoes.
Elections, Part 4 (Full Circle)
The ensuing weeks entailed a lot of suits, events, indigestion, kissing babies, photo opportunities, shaking hands with oba-san's, speeches, rough sex, polls research meetings, bank transactions, scolding interns, drinking,...and it all brings me back to the night of September 11th--the community center, the elevated, white-clothed table, the flickering flashbulbs, the applauding supporters, the self-congratulating suited jackasses. (An "oba-san" is a middle-aged woman.) To look at Kurachi-san's face, you wouldn't think he had spent the night before at the ICU with a whore who lost an eye--his panic even meriting a visit from Boss Takeda himself. Boss's fury was not traceable anywhere in his appearance, but his voice yielded a slight irritability, "Calm down, you horse's ass, and make her understand," he said while shoving an envelope full of the whore's hard-earned retirement money into Kurachi-san's jacket pocket. Kurachi-san was an apologetic mess. Boss Takeda made himself scarce soon after with nothing more than a sweet whisper to a random hospital staff member, "the whore doesn't have insurance"--the words had a sing-songy politeness. "I want the procedure to be on me." He pointed and darted an authoritative look at Kurachi-san, did his signature 30-degree bow back toward the staff member, and left.
Boss Takeda's Appeal
August 28, 2005
Greetings and Salutations,
It is truly amazing to witness with one's own eyes the changing of the seasons. I can barely wait to see all of the sights and changes Kyoto will have in store for us this autumn. I do hope this letter finds you well.
My son, I have taken the liberty of appointing you to represent the Opposition Party as well as the Family as candidate for mayor of Fushimi Ward. As you well know, Uenosono-kun's indictment late last year struck a blow to the foundation of this organization, and has put our precious relations with local law enforcement/ward officials in jeopardy, especially after Councilor Honma was killed. Mayor Mizuta has already begun dragging our name through the mud, and in his most recent campaign, is falsely promising the people economic stability/employment through diminished organized crime.
Congratulations!! You have been pulled from the prostitution unit (which will henceforth be under Kurachi-san's control) and are now our poster child. This promotion is not a result of your operations as unit manager, rather a decision I made based on your lack of presence in our organization and winning smile.
Your duties will be minimal. Please sign the enclosed Grant of Candidacy and submit it to the Ward Office. I have also enclosed a timetable for appearances and errands. Please destroy this letter.
Kindest regards,
Yoshinori Takeda