Getting recharged..

I have been thinking if I should go back to Japan or not since I have no concentration on studying and I am just exausted. I have been depressed and felt sick. Sometimes I felt fine as if I could do anything but it didn't last long.

But now, I started to feel fine naturally and little by little after people who are close to me listened to me whining and complaning and gave me some important advice. Maybe I just wanted to be encouraged by them. I am not good at getting help from the other people. I tend to depend on somebody (only a few people) too much and I only listen to those. This time, I opened up and got more opinions. I think it was good. They encouraged me a lot.

I decided to stop making efforts to the degree that I get depressed and sick. In Japan, to keep making efforts especially when they are exausted is preferable. If they get sick, it means they are weak and their existence is not asked for in the society. Very severe and exclusive. This thought can be applied in some different cultures too but I just don't want to be influenced by it. I want to be strong and ready enough even if I need to stay in that kind of world.

To become so, I really need to know what is interesting to me. I know it is really rare that I can have a job in what I am interested in. So I need to get something interesting that help me go through the hard things. To keep balanced. I need to find out if I really like Economics and Accounting. If not, I need to move on to next things.

I really appreciate to those who took time for me even though they are very busy. m(_ _ )m