I've been talking to elaine last night
about what's going on around me lately...


You know,

I sometimes really feel like an idiot
I know I'm the type that puts the WHOLE heart into one and every friendship I have with people around me.
I throw my WHOLE self into it.
It's supposed to be a GOOD thing.
It's supposed to mean that I'm a very dedicated and passionate friend...


but...


Doesn't it hurt SO much when that other person isn't feeling the same about this friendship/relationship?


I really hate it when that happens.

I want to slap myself and ask myself why I'm so stupid.


Why do I have to feel upset about it?

Why do I have to feel depressed about someone that wouldn't even feel the same way back to you?


Why am I feeling pain and loneliness...



Is it because I'm also listening to Plastic Tree?



It's making me want to cry...