14th December 2018
(If my Japanese may be mistaken, if you see the mistake, would you not tell me? And if you want to read the blogs you have been at heroends.wordpress.com .)
After that I will return to the Japanese blog.
I think that this year was a traumatic year. I did not understand it until now. In the past 14 months I moved to Japan from Japan after three years. Momotaro of the cat almost died (I am alive and well). The Butte in the first town is serious, I moved to Missoula now. When I got to Missoula, I did not have a house, work or a friend. I managed to make friends. I found my home, but five of my roommates were a painful person. I got to work, I became neck. I moved to an apartment living alone. I traveled to Norway, Sweden, and London for a month. I began studying at the University of Montana. I started working at a TV station. I also started working in college food courts. Impossible and my condition was getting worse. It became malnourished. Finally quit two of my jobs, the semester exam was somewhat good.
I feel like other people than the one a year ago. Really mature. I'm skeptical now than the dew that exists throughout my life. I was deceived by a friend who introduced me to the Butte. When I came to Missoula, there were bad people in the first two houses. Although I was a nice hall staff, I became fired. I had to face my troubles specially.
I can not believe I could finish this term. Since I was always able to make a hard work, I became thinking that I could not do what I wanted to do. However, accepting two of the most difficult semester exams yesterday, even if it should have been good, the feelings change. My condition of the body got worse, so I had to slow down. I came to think about me.
I think my character traits are much bigger and dislike. I do not like being hated and gradually smoothing character character from the time of high school students. Now I am able to make my friends well, so I think that I succeeded mostly. However, I have been thinking about myself since last month and think that I do not like this year's lesson.
Who is not talking about this exhaustion? I like a lot of people but I do not say what I want to say. Recent everyday life has little conflict, but there is still conflict. Since I was beaten by various kinds of conflict for a year, I came to think that it would be better not to have a conflict. But what if you do not say anything, what are you doing? A woman who says important things always hates, but I still praise them.
It was my weeping place since I was a little girl to say something before thinking about whether to say this. Until now it was a bug that I tried to smoothen the most. I always get in trouble if I go before I think about it. However, if I could think about it before, I would be more scared of being hated, but I would like to say more about my opinion. Like a woman who praises, I want to say something important.
Frequently to my experience, I do not like people, because my condition was bad for my current semester, my business was absent twice and I was told this: "You should stay in class. The reason is that you always talk and when you speak, others talk. "
Even though I have not understood what I understood various things, there are things to understand. I want to use more of my voice. I want to write as much as possible. I do not see whether next year is good or bad, but I feel promising.