NINETEEN MINUTES
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ようやく読み始めました。
思春期の子供をもつ親として、とても興味深く感じながら少しずつ読んでます。
まだ100ページほどしか読んでませんが、特に印象に残った部分に
17歳で大事件を起こすﾋﾟｰﾀｰが5歳の頃に学校でいじめられていた頃、先生に呼び出された母親と先生の
やり取りで、
先生 ： I wish I could give you a better explanation, but the fact is, some kids are simply magnets for
teasing. Other children see a weakness, and they exploit it.
レイシー（ﾋﾟｰﾀｰの母親）
： What's Peter's weakness?
先生 ： I don't see it as a weakness. He's sensitive, and he's sweet. But that means he's far less likely
to be running around with the other boys playing police chase than he is to be coloring in a
corner. The other children in the class notice.
先生 ： I'm showing Peter how to stand up for himself. If someone cuts him in the lunch line, or if he's
teased, to say something in return instead of just accepting it.
レイシー: I can't believe I'm hearing this. So if he gets shoved, he's supposed to shove back?
when his food gets knocked on the floor, he should reciprocate?
先生 ： Of course not-
レイシー: You are telling me that for peter to feel safe in school, he's going to have to start acting like
the boys who do this to him?
先生 ： I can say that Peter is a wonderful child, which he is. I can tell you that the school will teach
tolerance and will discipline the boys who've been making Peter's life so miserable, and that
this will be enough to stop it. But the sad fact is that if Peter wants it to end, he's going to
have to be part of the solution.
It was her job as Peter's mother to smooth the road in front of him so that he wouldn't falter.
But what if she couldn't bulldoze on his behalf all the time? Is that what the teacher had been
trying to tell her?
It was not the way she liked to parent, but apparently her usual advice-be kind, be polite, be
what you want others to be － had done Peter no good.
優しい子になって欲しい。 自分が嫌だなと思うことは相手も嫌なんだから、してはいけないよ。
人に迷惑をかけない、礼儀正しい子になってね。
など、 小さい時はそんな風に子供に言い聞かせてきたのに、 突然、それでは社会で生きていけない
のだと知らされた時はショックですよね。 今までとは逆に、 やられっぱなしでは何の解決にもならないから
急にやり返しなさいと言われたら子供はどんな気持ちがするんだろう？
でも、確かに親は子供の前に転がっている障害物をいちいちどかしてあげることは出来ないのだから
自分で解決する方法を教えていかなければならないのも事実。
子育ての矛盾と難しさ。
同じように愛情たっぷりに育てても、最悪の結果を生み出してしまう原因はなんなのか？
先を読むのが楽しみです。