朝井リョウ｜「何者」を読んで
「何者」を読んだ面白かった。最初のうちは「若い人が読む本だったかな？ 失敗したかな？」と思ったけれど、いやいや、面白い！ というか、後半なんかミステリー小説より怖い。それから、知らない言葉が出てきて調べたりもした。「サルエルパンツ」とか「ウイイレ」とか（笑）。さて、なぜ朝井リョウさんの小説を読んでみようと思ったのか？きっかけは、ポッドキャスト「安住紳一郎の日曜天国」。ゲストに出演していた朝井リョウさんの話が面白くて、「この人の作品、読みたい！」となった。そこで、「イン・ザ・メガチャーチ」と直木賞受賞作の「何者」の2冊を買った。まずは「何者」から。確か、こんな文章があったと思う。違っていたらすみません。「カッコ悪い姿を人に見せるくらいなら、何もしない方を選ぶくらいには、気が小さい」うまい！！ 共感する。とはいえ、私はなんだかんだ言いながら、結局、カッコ悪い姿を人に見せまくっている。だから、拓人の気持ちもすごくわかるが、瑞月や理香の気持ちもわかりすぎる。だからといって、気が小さくないわけじゃないんだ。気は、小さい。小さいくせに、やることが無鉄砲っていうか……。そんな自分の過去を振り返りながら「何者」を読んだ。瑞月が隆良に思いの丈をぶつけるところも迫力があるけれど、理香が拓人にぶつけるセリフの数々もすごかった。怖い。読み始めから感じてはいたけれど、これって、読者みんなに思い当たるところがあるんじゃないかな。そして、自分の身近な人たちが、こんなふうに人を観察しているのだとしたら……。いや、ほぼ間違いなく観察していると思うけど、もう、どの自分をどう見せて付き合っていけばいいのかわからなくなる。みんな、一枚剥がすと本音が出てくるし、二枚剥がすとジェラシーやら何やら、少しどろっとしたものも見えてくる。それが人間なんだよね。私が若い頃、こういう本を読んでいたら、浅はかな行動をしなかっただろうか？いや……人間って、そう変わらない。あの明るくて面白い朝井リョウさんが、こんな人間の内面を描けるということは、リョウさん自身にもそんな一面があるってことなんだろう。そういう自分の内面とどううまく付き合いながら、社会を生きていくか。それが課題なんだよね。いい本だった。怖いけど。After Reading Nanimono (Somebody) by Ryo AsaiWhat a book!At first, I thought, "Hmm, maybe this is a book for younger people. Did I make a mistake buying it?"But no, no! It turned out to be fascinating! In fact, the second half was scarier than a mystery novel.I even had to look up a few words, like "sarouel pants" and "Winning Eleven," a popular soccer video game. Haha!So, why did I decide to read a novel by Ryo Asai in the first place?It all started with a podcast called Nichiyo Tengoku, hosted by Shinichiro Azumi. Ryo Asai appeared as a guest, and I found him so funny and entertaining that I thought, "I've got to read something by this guy!"So I bought two of his novels, In the Mega-Church and Nanimono (Somebody), which won the prestigious Naoki Prize.I decided to start with Nanimono.The story follows a group of Japanese university students going through the stressful process of job hunting. But underneath all that, it's really about how people see themselves, how they present themselves to others, and what they're secretly thinking.I remember coming across a line that went something like this. Forgive me if I'm not quoting it exactly."I was timid enough to choose doing nothing rather than let other people see me looking foolish."Brilliant!! And so relatable.Having said that, I somehow always end up letting people see me looking foolish anyway!So I can really understand how Takuto, the main character, feels. But at the same time, I can understand Mizuki and Rika all too well.And that doesn't mean I'm not timid myself.I am. Very much so.The funny thing is, despite being so timid, I've done some pretty reckless things in my life.That's just the kind of person I am, I suppose.As I read Nanimono, I found myself looking back on my own past.The scene where Mizuki finally lets Takayoshi know exactly how she feels is incredibly powerful. But the things Rika says to Takuto are something else entirely.Terrifying!I had a feeling from the beginning that this novel would hit close to home for a lot of readers.Surely, everyone can recognize a little bit of themselves in these characters.And then I started thinking...What if the people close to me are observing and analyzing me the way these characters observe one another?Actually, I'm pretty sure they are!It almost makes me wonder which version of myself I'm supposed to show people, and how on earth I'm supposed to behave around them.Peel away one layer, and people's true feelings begin to emerge.Peel away another, and you start to see jealousy, insecurity, and all sorts of other slightly ugly emotions lurking underneath.But that's what being human is all about, isn't it?If I'd read a book like this when I was young, would I have avoided making some of those foolish decisions?Hmm...Probably not.People don't change that much, do they?And to think that Ryo Asai, who seemed so cheerful and funny on the podcast, could write about the darker, more complicated sides of human nature with such insight!I can't help thinking that he must have some of those complicated feelings inside himself, too.I suppose the real challenge is learning how to deal with those parts of ourselves while finding our way through society.What a good book.Scary, though.
