I've been adjusting to a higher dose of my mood stabilizer for a week now, and it's been brutal to say the least.
I've been having dizzy spells with double vision for the past few days and it's made it difficult to get my day started when I'm on the verge of passing out.. On the bright side, it's been helping my mood stablize better than it has been in a while but at what cost?? 
I've had to change the way I take my meds in order for it to not adversely affect my blood pressure and reduce the chances of the dizziness happening. I've had to quit my sleep medication completely to reduce morning lightheadedness, which has helped with making the side effects less bad, but my psychiatrist will not be happy with this choice, THAT'S for sure.
I've had to replace it with hydroxyzine in the meantime. Maybe I'll just switch back to it permanently if my nightmares don't come back.
I've also had to space out the timing of my meds by taking my thyroid meds first, waiting half an hour, eating breakfast and then taking my ADHD meds, waiting an hour, and then taking the other ones afterwards after one hour and sitting completely still for at least half an hour. This has been the ONLY way so far that hasn't caused the adverse reaction and it's been incredibly inconveninent and definitely won't be sustainable for me in the long-term.
I'm hoping this will pass soon though and that's it's only temporary.
My mom has been frustrated with the medication situation too and is always like "I hope you don't feel sick today" and it's just making me feel annoyed and like it's my fault for having the side effects. I'm glad she was there for me during the first really bad episode where I borderline passed out because of the dizziness and had to cancel plans with my friend because I could barely walk, but her worrying about me and doting on me is NOT making this situation any better to be honest.
Her baby fake-sympathy "I'll always be there for you" voice makes me feel weird and gives me the ick because I know full-well that's not who she's truly like even if she will never admit it to herself.
I cried to my dad the other day when I was starting the first day of my new job because I was feeling awful just before I had to leave the house for orientation, but he was so sweet, gave me a huge hug and a shoulder to cry on, and then packed my lunch and gave me a water bottle with electrolytes in it, which really hellped me feel better quickly, so I'll definitely be doing that. 
I'm planning on powering through with this for another week until my next psychiatrist appointment which is at the end of next week, so hopefully things will settle down by then. If not, I'm toast and I'll have to go back down to my old dose which didn't work as well as I would have liked.
I also have my dermatologist appointment today where she will assess how my HS is doing on my new biologic injection, which I'm ridiculously nervous about.
I just hate anyone looking at my skin because my mom has made me become completely adverse to it due to her criticising it almost every single time in the past, so now I hate asking for help even when I NEED to get my skin checked out. To that mom, seriously, fuck you.
The worst part of this is that she now is like "don't be afraid to show me your flares or ask me questions about your skin if you're worried about it", because I can't trust that she has an unbiased medical opinion and won't criticize what's going on or assume things that aren't true so quite frankly, she's lost that privilege.
I'm so glad she's not going with me to this appointment though because I can just take some stress out of the appointment entirely just by her not being there.
I feel really lucky that my dermatologist is not judgemental about my skin unlike my mom. Hopefully my appointment goes well and that I won't have to have any 
𝒆𝒙𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 like my dermatologist suggested last time
