It seemed that I found hope in the situations, but I’m depressed again.
My room is still such a mess, and I have no time to spare for myself.
I’m going to stay at my parents’ house for a while.
People around me are so supportive, and I really appreciate them.
I think one of the reasons I dislike this place is because this room is such a disaster. Cluttered and cluttered. Then, are you comfortable if this room is declutterred? Hmm, it’s worth trying it.
But I know these reasons are superficial. The biggest reason is I don’t have anytime for myself. I just hate it. You know, I have a dream, but I don’t have sufficient time to work on that. It’s so frustrating!
I thought I could make it by not sleeping, but that’s just not realistic. I’ll waste a lot of time if I stayed here any longer. I realized that. But I’ll procrastinate again. I’ll stay here until the end of the year, and do my absolute best and observe the results. Time is very precious, but I can do that. Because it’s a big decision. I know I have haters, and they’ll be happy if I left this place. They threaten me on a daily basis, you know.
My only consolation is listening to my favorite music. I can’t disclose my music preferences here, but I’d written about some of my favorite musicians, right?
I’m still interested in Existential Analysis and Logotherapy. I happened to have the textbook of psychology, and as long as I read appendix, there’s no description about Frankl nor Logotherapy. So sad…As I read introductory books about Frankl, I found one book which seems interesting, but there’s no Kindle version. Neither English nor German (I took German classes). Japanese translation is physical book (is this word appropriate?), so I can order it at the bookstore (I live very analog life).
I know I’m selfish. I have more haters than friends, but surely some people will be sad if I leave this place. But I’d rather pursue my dreams, instead of comforting them. So selfish. But are they really incompatible? To know the limit, I’ll give it a try.
I’m sorry for writing personal problems on and on. So boring, right?
Thank you always for your being so kind to read my articles!