stupid shoot; from 10-2am on the bridge connecting main st and court. fucking hobos harrassing us for monayy! stood outside in the cold for at least 2 hours!
but we did get to see fireworks near the house of steel!. then the cops came lmfao.
then
naphi partyy~~
sober entire night! hehe everyone looked so retarded drunk hahahahahh.
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havent had ice cream in a long time. so fucking good
4th day at the library but no studying. more procrastination and less reading. if you guys want to hang out and chill with your friends, or make a blog, then the library is the way to go!.
New Heights - Time
Short blog then back to work, i promise.
OK, so while biking my way to class on monday, i realized that i left my phone in one of the bathroom stalls in C4. biked back to C4 just to get my phone knowing I was going to be late for my discussion class.
Then today! (wed 3.6.13) I ALMOST LOST MY WALLET! Anything but my wallet. everything in it has a sentimental meaning to me. whether its a piece of crumpled up paper, or a photo, it has a special place in my heart. without them, it'll be disastrous, no kidding. Id rather lose my phone or my itouch than lose that! jeeze... But thank you alice for being there :)
After my IC meeting, I decided to bike all the way to town square mall to get some froyo! to my surprise it was closed :(! So i just hung around in walmart for a bit.. alone. and honestly it felt great. i was aimlessly walking around just pondering about life, i suppose, with no intention of buying anything there. i was thinking more specifically about my life.. i guess? more or less about what can I do to make myself happy. so question of the night: what will make me happy?
SOMO - Kings and Queens
_________edit__________ ive decided to go through my entire blog again.. starting from the very beginning. senior year in high school. and work my way up to the present. and finally I noticed it. THESE OLD BLOGS are. killing. me. reminiscent at its best? or the worst? BUT I REALIZED I WAS SO DIFFERENT. IM UTTERLY SPEECHLESS. Then i decided to take a step further and take a closer look to all the blogs from the time I was with mai and the blogs she have posted during the same time. (although ive been telling myself to make peace with the past, i just had to do this one last time).
And I oversaw everything. these posts on how she had a really good time with me on that day, and those little cute semi conversational messages at the end of the blog that we had... these little things; i cant believe i oversaw everything. but in the end, i fucked everything up. im the one to blame. im the stupid one. i chose not to believe in anything. i neglected her. period. I have no right to say anything else. everything was written right here. but how? how did all of this slip right through me? how oblivious could i have been? surely there must have been some logic behind it?! I must have been thinking about something during that time. just the thought of all this..
either way, it wouldnt matter. its over now. im sorry..
im definitely NOT going to have a good night. instead, "everything I never did came crashing down like thunder on my heart."
3 nights in a row @ the library studying for my micro exam which is this friday. Started to procrastinate a bit and went through my collection of face book videos.
I REALLLLLYYYY miss those times. baseball/karaoke/football/biking with Kenny and tatsuki all in one day; those spontaneous days were unforgettable. Can I ever be like that again?
"So close your eyes, follow your dreams And keep your head to the sky. When times get rough, and the clouds get dark, And you need to ask yourself why. Just listen to the words I say, you'll find a way, To keep pushin' to get by. And if you keep this on your mind, stay on your grind, it'll be your time, to take over the world. "
I hate college now. everyones busy. why cant it be simple like before?
I wonder if tatsuki is doing good? hmmm. i also miss my little yellow bmx bike with them pegs -______-. giving people rides behind me was soo much fun. imagine if i did that in bing? lmfao
_____________________________ As i was reading through my blogs, i came across this:
"when i first started learning psychology this was my philosophy
Everything and anything is a process. Change is a first step to commitment. everybody can make or do change. you realize you're committed when you're in love or when you truly believe in something.
If you want to be a doctor, a singer, or even a movie star, you obviously dream big. no? but words wont accomplish anything. "I want to be this. i want to be that." You'll obviously go nowhere near.
words lead into development. development leads into action.
with action and commitment, anything is possible. it might sound corny and everybody probably told you this already, but its actually true. even i believe that. especially coming from someone who was a stubborn kid growing up.
but there are times when we dont realize what we have or what we needed in our lives until it was gone. we are also often too stubborn to even say, "Im sorry, i was wrong." too often it seems we hurt the ones closest to our hearts, and we let the most foolish things tear us apart (FB)
and i would be the victim of this.
You see, if you keep saying things like, "im such a horrible person" or "I will never be able to do this" then in the end, Thats how your gonna be stuck with. but most importantly instead of hurting yourself, you'll also hurt the people you love, and people who love you back. so commit into what you want to be or become
if someone asks you out, but you're scared that your not good enough for him/her or that because you might break his/her heart, ask yourself, "Who says?" Who says im not good enough for him. who says that i will break her heart. my conscience? conscience doesn't control you. you control you.
all this negatively will demean you. and you will finally come to realize something you will regret. "I dont want to be anybody else." "im just beautiful me"
take a step. explore . discover . life is a game. have fun . cuz in the end, you'll finally say "wow that was a great experience." trust me.
So guys, please dont say
"im a horrible person" or anything to make yourself look bad. cuz nobody should treat themselves like that. and I came to this realization a little too late.
As Carolyn Wells says, "Actions lie louder than words."
"The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else" "
wow my perception from then and now has changed?!
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also this one stuck out the most:
"dont use someones past against them" "You’re just reminding them of the mistakes they made back then. If you watch their facial expression carefully, then you’ll see the hurt in their eyes as they reminisce everything that happened.
Never use emotion as a weapon, it strikes deeper than you can imagine.
SOMO - Kings and Queens