I think I was not a good university student.
If there was a window, I kept looking outside,
and thinking about something that has no answer.
For example, some virtual stories of students who were walking around the campus,
or about my very uneasy near future.
Those had no answer. It was really meaningless but I couldn't help. .....
Even I was not listening to what my professors said,
I was hearing them.
and sometimes some very important words caught me
and it won't get out of my mind. Even after a decade.
When I was in the social management seminar,
We did a group presentation about "The Self-Organizing Universe" Erich Jantsch
My presentation theme was 思いやり.
I totally forgot what I spoke, but my professor said that the key of producing is the balance of 思いやり and desire.
思いやり
address（恋人に対する）
attention
caring
a charitable consideration
charity（人に対する）
compassion
considerateness
consideration（他の人に対する）
a courteous consideration
delicacy
feeling
fellow feeling
humanity（他人への）
kindness
sensitivity
thought
warm-heartedness
warmth
I kept thinking of that professor's word since then.
When I produce events. when I try to be nice for others. when I am in the dance piece.....
I understand its meaning.
But I'm still keep searching for the balance each time.
And yet there is no answer. It changes time after time, case by case...
Perhaps it was not just about the balance of 思いやり and desire.
But it was for me, making the decision of accepting the stream of fate.
have a good day
