桜2026
毎年同じことの繰り返しのようで、
でも毎年違う思いを抱かされる桜
見舞いを終えて出た病院の前に溢れんばかりの桜。
治療の手立ては残されず、
ホスピスを勧められるも
そこでは本人の希望は聞いてもらえず、
不条理にも実質死刑判決を宣告されたような思いだった。
最後まで生きたいという思いは
鼻先であしらわれたような
医療事情の病院体制。
やむなく転院が決まり、
受け入れ先の返事が来るまで
不穏な雲行きの中漂流
流されるがまま
従うしかなく、
その先はどうなっていくのか
母本人が一番わからなかったのかもしれない。
薄皮を剥ぐように瀬戸際の
希望も奪われた思い
どうしようもない鷲掴みされた感情
周りは皆春の陽気を楽しみ幸せそうなのに
桜が辛かった８年前の春。
今年もこの季節。
少しは思い出すも、
時間は緩衝材のよう。
何気ない道端の小さな花、
懸命に背伸びして咲く
生きているエネルギーが愛おしいくて
次から次へ出会の瞬間を
写真に収めずにいられなかった。
菜の花の向こうに見える川向こうの桜並木。
足元のたんぽぽ
近くと遠くからと
楽しませてくれる。
春のお散歩
♪ ♪ ♪
Cherry Blossoms 2026
It seems like the same thing happens every year,
yet every year, the cherry blossoms evoke different feelings.
As I left the hospital after visiting a patient, the area in front was overflowing with cherry blossoms.
With no further treatment options remaining,
and though hospice care was recommended,
my wishes were not heard there,
and it felt as though I had been handed a de facto death sentence—utterly absurd.
The hospital system, with its medical realities,
brushed aside her desire to live until the very end
as if it were nothing.
A transfer was decided upon out of necessity,
and until we received a response from the receiving facility,
we drifted amid ominous clouds,
swept along by the current,
with no choice but to go along with it.
Perhaps my mother herself
knew least of all
what lay ahead.
It felt as if even the faintest glimmer of hope
on the brink of despair had been stripped away,
leaving me with an overwhelming sense of helplessness.
While everyone around me seemed happy, enjoying the spring sunshine,
that spring eight years ago, the cherry blossoms were painful.
It’s that time of year again.
I recall it a little,
but time acts as a buffer.
The small, unassuming flowers by the roadside,
stretching up as best they can to bloom—
their very energy for life is so precious
that I couldn’t help but capture
each and every moment of our encounter
in photographs.
The row of cherry blossoms across the river, visible beyond the rapeseed flowers.
The dandelions at my feet—
whether viewed from near or far—
bring me joy.
A spring stroll