Are You Nervous?
of course i am, Caelyn. i'm nervous and worried. Caelyn? that's the name of my diary.i've never worked 2 jobs before and working one job is enough to turn me into a zombie, and that was before i was diagnosed with a heart condition and 2 annoying eye conditions.i hate interviews. especially group interviews. i get nervous, my heart beats fast and so loudly that i'm worried that the interviewer can hear it. i'd also really feel like peeing even when i don't have any pee inside me. i'd answer all their questions incorrectly. i'm also like this when i visit a doctor. i hadannual checkups at a hospital because i was born premature, and there was once i was so nervous that the doctor made me wear a heart device for an entire day because my heart rate was too high at the hospital. that device was noisy, big and it makes noises every few minutes. i was so shy in crowded quiet places when i had it.after several ECGs and a heart ultrasound in a freezing cold hospital room with my clothes off, a rude doctor told me about my heart condition. that was months before i was diagnosed with 2 eye conditions, one of them causes daily blur vision, inflammation that makes my eyes feel scratchy (not itchy, scratchy, like there's something scratching the surface of my eyes), eye pain and a whiteeye discharge that noophthalmologist could explain. i also have to clean it daily and there's currently no cure.my eyes are annoying me when i'm not working and i have to wipe it so often. none of the symptoms disappear or get better with wiping, cleaning or rinsing with water. i don't know how i'd be able to work like this or if i even have enough time to wash my eyes twice a day if i have to work 2 jobs,but i've been through a lot of things in the past, this is just a temporary obstacle. i just hope i'd be able to maintain that perspective.
