Real Life Ramblings ( Shadow Work ? )
I played fetch with Kenny a bit today, he plays fetch just like a dog until he tires himself out. I'm not sure what it means, but he buries his little plastic straw that's riddled with teeth marks into the fleece blanket, the one that I cover myself with while I'm sleeping. Then when I wake up, he digs it out of the covers and brings it to me to play. If I don't play with him, he'll toss the straw up in the air and play by himself. Karna is not interested in fetch, and he watches Kenma from afar, while looking perplexed at his play.
I wanted to dig more into my blogging roots again because I had been having interpersonal issues with streaming. I thought it was a really bad thing, to feel angry openly, but I listened to my stream VODs recorded recently and compared them to my VODs from 2023, and I like the sound of my voice better now. I sounded so passive and horribly demure before, but I think it's because I still felt very shy and I didn't know how to navigate collabs and I still wasn't sure how I wanted to convey myself with my voice on stream.
I think the assertiveness and some of my interests have made people mistake me for a tomboy, but even though I hate spilling the tea, I have to tell people what I'm comfortable with or streaming becomes unpleasant for me and I don't have the professional walls of an agency shielding me or anything, so everything is on me. It can be a lot of responsibility, since I'm not cut out to be a moderator as much as I am a streamer. I think exploring things that frustrate me and being honest about them is a good step forward.
I've also listened to past singing recordings from 2022-2023, and I've improved a lot. There's still a lot of work I want to do with my voice, but overall, it sounds much better and cohesive. Thinking back, a moment on stream that really frustrated me is the "Machina" incident.
So, The Smashing Pumpkins are my favorite band and Machina is my favorite record... the title is pronounced mə-ˈshēnə because the theme of the album subtitle is "The Machines of God", and therefore there is a pun on the Greek phrase "deus ex machina" meaning a being that is the decider in a hopeless situation... with the added pomo-ironicism of Billy Corgan stating that he doesn't think that the hero character / "Glass" ( the rockstar that claims to hear the voice of God ) wins in the end.
"No more the eye upon you, no more the simple man.
Hesitation, yes. Desolation, no.
As you might have guessed, I won't make it home.
Hesitation, yes. Desolation, no."
––"Age of Innocence" ( Machina, 2000 )
It frustrated me because I know the origins of the correct pronunciation of the word "machina" but "Machina" is my favorite album, and I know that it is pronounced differently, and yet I had people correcting me, even when I explained the divergence between the two. It was frustrating me, not only that people questioned me on something they knew that I love deeply, but it seems to be a question of my intelligence too. The album title is pronounced mə-ˈshēnə. The proper way to pronounce the Greek-derived word is mä-ki-nə.
Kuime ( 喰女-クイメ- ) "Over Your Dead Body" ( 2014 ) Overview
To begin, it doesn't have rave reviews online, but I really enjoyed this film. Takashi Miike is a director that doesn't spill blood needlessly, and by that, I mean that gory scenes always seem to have a feeling of grandiose significance, unlike a lot of slasher films in the same genre. I don't care for overly grotesque and bloody films, but I enjoy Miike's films because I am typically left thinking about the meaning for days, and I enjoy films that leave such a heavy impact on me; Kuime is one of those film experiences!
It was a welcome surprise to see Ichikawa Danjūrō XIII cast as the lead male character in the story. I have had a passive interest in kabuki theater, and an item on my bucket list is to see a kabuki stage play once before I die. I was introduced to this actor both through my deep dives into the history of kabuki, and also he has a guest cameo on an episode of Detective Conan! The lead heroine in this film is also someone that I am quite fond of, Kō Shibasaki, I loved her role in Miike's other film "One Missed Call" and I'm a fan of her music career. For those who don't know her, she is also the voice provider for the Vocaloid "Galaco"! A lovely actress and singer!
My Interpretation of Kuime ( 喰女-クイメ- ) "Over Your Dead Body" ( 2014 )
Miike's films seem to have somewhat of a feminist edge, from the ones I have seen. There always seems to be violent feminine retribution, it was present in Audition, One Missed Call, and in the end of this film as well. Although the narrative is a telling of "Yotsuya Kaidan", the film unfolds into its own story. My interpretation of the ending is that Miyuki became a yōkai at the end of the movie, and that she ended her life and pregnancy, and transformed into a type of yōkai known as a "ubume". These types of yōkai commonly come about after a mortal woman has died during childbirth, and we see Miyuki bleeding out after she aborts her own child. That would also explain the powers that she seemed to harness at the end to murder her husband, and the crying doll in the film would correlate with the doll often associated with "ubume".
I didn't think about the correlation to yōkai until I found the literal translation of "kuime" ( "eater woman" ) and it reminded me of the jikininki yōkai.
Favorite Takashi Miike Films ( Out of the Ones I Have Seen )
- Box
- Audition
- Kuime
- One Missed Call
- The Happiness of the Katakuris