A lot of random imagery today upon waking up: tangled hair in cobweb spirals, hearts pulsating at their zero hour, something festering and unfulfilled bubbling to the surface. I was recording voice acting clips yesterday and since they were voice clips of a "yangire" nature, Kenma got spooked and was standing up on his hind legs and staring at Karna while I was speaking, maybe they were playing, I don't know? I think, perhaps, he was more worried about me than fearful, because afterwards, he wrapped his whole body around my feet. I started writing an original song yesterday that fits the theme of my Vtuber character: it has a music box-like melody, it can also be played on a piano, and the lyrics loop and build into a crescendo; I also got to Platinum II ranking with a deck based off of my streaming character: a Nemleria and Labrynth combo deck.

 

I was thinking about "Tonari no Totoro" recently and no matter what the creators have officially confirmed, I believe that Satsuki and Mei died at the end of the film, or experienced something similar to it. Earlier in the movie, their Okā-san states that one day she hopes to see ghosts, implying that perhaps she's dying? I'm not sure why that would parallel so well with the scene with Satsuki and Mei with the cat bus at the end of the film, when she was able to see the girls in the tree but their Otō-san could not, why write in the ghost dialogue if it had no significance? 

 

I do not personally think Totoro is a shinigami like some people have theorized, I think he's an impartial spirit of nature, like a faerie or water sprite: a creature that is detached from human sensibilities and goes along with the ebbs and tides of nature more than has the human desire to impose its will upon the river of time. Totoro doesn't bring death, but perhaps is correlated with the organic world and the nature of death itself. It explains when Mei seems scared when she sees the fox shrine and when she clings to her sister with mournful, mature tears in her eyes... it's almost as if she has the prescience to sense what will happen...

 

I think it speaks volumes that even though Satsuki and Mei are cold and tired during the iconic rain scene, Totoro doesn't offer the human benevolence of giving them a ride to shelter––instead, Totoro only allows them to board the cat bus when their time has come, when Mei is crying in front of the Jizō statues: statues that represent the spirits of deceased children. Another interpretation that I have, since they're clearly alive at the end of the film... assuming that the conclusion wasn't just created to make the movie more family-friendly, is that they had a near-death experience, and were somehow able to survive. Maybe them being able to cross over into the afterlife was a way for them to reach their mother, who is hospitalized and very ill.

 

"Tonari no Totoro" was the first Japanese animated film that I ever watched, so it is very significant to me. Strangely enough, I first watched it in a hospital as a child.

 

Out of the currently airing seasonal anime shows, I like "Nige Jōzu no Wakagimi" the most so far. I haven't read the mangka's other works, but the characters in the series are iconic and lively, and Tokiyuki's portrayal in the series is lovable and bright. I love spirited protagonists, like Gon in "Hunter × Hunter"! Historical dramas are fun, especially when their version of events lean towards the fictional aspect and incorporate elements of the supernatural, like "Hakuōki" and its rewrite of Shinsengumi stories or with "Tōken Ranbu" and their bevy of personified warring-era sword guys.

 

I listened to the new Linkin Park "From Zero" album. Linkin Park is always a band that I've appreciated musically, but it's never emotionally resonated with me as deeply as with other people, I've listened to a few albums in the past and enjoyed them, that is the extent of my feelings towards them. So, from that perspective, I think Emily Armstrong is a great new lead vocalist, she's very talented and has a strong voice. I listened to a Hilary Hahn violin performance before bed because a viewer in my stream suggested her, and it was really calming. I also listened to a video explaining the philosophical significance of a labyrinth, while ranking up with my hybrid Labrynth deck. Recently, it feels like I'm inside of one... life is strange.