１月１５日

I made up with my husband yesterday, which was good! I was disappointed and got mad at him on Tursday night. But I admit that I was wrong too. During the weekend until we made up, I felt depressed and didn't enjoy anything at all. What we usually do together, like jogging or watching TV or shopping, are not fun at all, when they are done by myself. My husband and I have so much in common, but also we have a lot of difference.

１月１４日

I had a rehearsal today. Erin saw storytellers concentratly today, which was good. But after she leaving, we did the run-through with exchanging roles each other. It was fun, but I had a rehearsal yesterday from 11:30 PM and we met up at 9:00 AM this mornig. Can't I say it was a waste of time??? Of cource nobody could be apart the texts. So the actiong was not so useful to laern to real cast. yesterday we are supposed to run through with extrime tension. I couldn't understand what should we do it for??? For all my complain about the rehearsal, I really appreciate the oppotunity to take part in the show. First, I got chance to act in English and was approved by many people as a good actor(WOOOwwwwooo)

Second, I can hung out with American students more. I went to Japanese restraunt with friends. But I can't understand most of the conversation between them.......(I manage to understand what they talked to me.) Next time I should ask them to speak slowly!! I am thinking about inviting some of friends for dinner after the show.

During the rehearsal, the difference between American actors and Japanse acotors that I noticed was that Aerican people hadle props and costumes so roughly. For example they fling props at the floor so violently without thinking they are broken. Of course sometimes that kind of action is necessary and work a lot. But you know.... it's different....I don't know how to describe it.....OK, they handle props even though they don't get excited enough....

Also they don't handle costumes with care: they don't hesitate to lay them on the floor.

１月１３日

I feel that the rehearsal progress is kind of slow. I can't believe the show will open in a week. I felt my English had imprved, but it found our I couldn't understand what people said well.....When am I

going to be able to master English?????????????and how????

We've become to do vocal warming uop before the rehearsal. As I felt it at the voice for actors class, doing tongue twister in English is really difficult for me, because I don't know them. Usually I can't understand whtat they mean and feel alone. But this time Baranrd who leads the warming ups asked me Japanese tongue twister and accept it into the warm up. I think he noticed how I felt. He is really thoughtful.

yesterday night my husabnd and I had a tiff....(?) Or I got mad at him one-sidedly. So disgusted that I slept on a sofa in the living room. He noticed it during the night(maybe) and brough me to the bed. I didn't know why I was pissed off so much yesterday, but I am still depressed.

１月１１日

I showed my monolougue in front of everyone. (till that we had rehearsals individually.) Erin and some friends spoke well.

And Timmy, who is an assistant director and had been looking so sullen, praised for my work. He said "she is fucking awesome!!" I was soooooo happpyyyyy----!!

１月９，１０日

I didn't wtite diaries yesterday and the day before yesterday...

I did break my resolution..

But I just couldn't, beacuse I went home around noon. I'll write a daiary in the morning.

I had a rehearsal with the storytellers at one of the member's house.(it was really huge and gorgeous.) after that we went to see movie "king kong". Ididn't know the director was Peter Jacson who directed lord of the ring. it was too long, especially the jungle scene was too much long and gross. it's my first time to see the movie with American freiends. So it was fun to see their reaction. Especially Rivca who sat next to me, her reaction was really interesting. She seemed to get valuse for her ticket's price...laughing and stating ger imprression and seeing around to share the wonder or fun. Usually I don't utter at the theatre, but I did. It was fun. She cried at the scene where we are supposed to be moved. on our way home back one of freiens said "I couldn't cry, I wanted to, but I couldn't!! " Me and other freiend couldn't say anything, because we who sat nect to Rivica knew she was crying." I like Rivica. She is really delightful and I feel comfortable with her, because she doesn't feel uncomfortable about my poor English. She is really frank. She asked me "how much did you understand?" after seeing King Kong. At that time I showed off and said "I can understand King Kong without understading English." I think I could understand 95% of the story. But as to English, I am not sure.... I could guess what they intended to say....but..50%or 60%???

Yesterday I invited DeeDee and Tugumi for lunch. But while I went to pick Dee Dee up, Tugumi was prepare for lunch...it was good!

Dee Dee is the university student who loves Japan so much. I taought her Japanese, and she taought me English. We are conversationg partner. Whenever I meet people who adore Japan (sometimes they have never been Japan.), I think that they was Japanese at their previous life.(I am not sure if any previous lives exsist.)

And I went to the rehersal.

I got a e-mail from one of my best friends and it said that she got pregnant. I want to have a baby too!

１月８日

When my husbad and I made New Year's resolutions, we made a 'things we want t oget' list too. The sum of our list was going to be under 10 thousands. Because it was not "things we will buy in this year" list, but "things we want to buy if winng a public lottery or something like that "list, it could have be more unrealistic. we were kind of frugal. At the top of the list was big TV. Now we are using a 21inch TV and it is toooo small for the room. When we watch DVDs, we have to move TV forward. Recently I'v been often watching TVs and DVDs, the small TV is kind of annoying.　So we decided to get a big TV and went to Best Buy. We were full of will to buy a TV, but we left the store with an empty bag! There were too many choices! A plasma, a liquid crystal, a projection.....Each of these TVs seemed to have its merits and demerits.

When we got a 21 inch TV two years ago, what we had to think was a company name and inch and a price. (of course you can say we couldn't think of other choices, beacue we didn't have money.) After my husband's study on web site, 37 inch LC TV seems to be best to buy now. (The price is going to be about 2000 dollers. It 's a lot of money) Originally we were looking for 50 inch TV. But more than 37 inch LD TV is still too expensive.

正月に新年の抱負を決めたとき、ついでに、いつか欲しいものリストもつくってみた。でも、リストの合計は、一軒屋を除けば、１００万にも満たなかった。そのリストは今年買いたいものリストじゃなくて、万一宝くじでもあたったら欲しいなぁ～ものリストだったから、もっと非現実的になってもいいのに、なんだか、小市民な私たちでした。リストの一番上にあるのは大型ＴＶで、今使ってるのは２１型で今の家には小さすぎて、ＤＶＤとか見るときは、ＴＶを手前に引き寄せないといけない。ＴＶもなんとも見づらい。最近私はＴＶやＤＶＤをよく見てるので、いらいらしている。ので、大型ＴＶを購入することにした～。しかし、買う気満々でＢＥＳＴ　ＢＵＹに行ったにも係わらす、何も買えずに出てきた二人。選択肢が多すぎる・・・・・・。プラズマがいいのか、液晶がいいのか、プロジェクション内臓がいいのか・・・。２年前２１インチＴＶを買ったときは、会社とインチと値段だけ見てればよかったのにー！（まあ、そのときはお金がなかったから他の選択肢を考えることも出来なかったともいえるんだけど。） 旦那による研究の結果３７インチの液晶がどうやら有力のよう。 ２０万くらいかな。高い・・・。）もともと５０インチのＴＶが欲しかったのだけど、３７インチよりでかい液晶ＴＶはまだ高すぎる。（プロジェクションやプラズマなら同じレンジで買えるのだけど。）

１月７日

I had a rehearsal today.

I saw a DVD, Angels in America. It seems to have been a TV drama series. Whenever I saw American movie or drama, I was impressed by the skillfulness of the actors. They are really good at acting. Every actors on Angels in America was amazing. Especially, Al Pacina was terrific

１月６日

Today I spend a whole day at home, reading text and watching TV.Erin is the director of the show. she is a student too.

I remember when I finished my acting at the audition for the first time, she said to me “you are great” immediately, even though my English was terrible.

I was so impressed from two reasons.

First, of course, I was terribly happy that someone recognized me as an good actor.

Second, her braveness moved me.

I thought she was so brave.

She didn’t need to take risks or complicate matters by getting a foreign student like me involved in the show. And I wonder how many people can believe their judgments and decide promptly in that situation. (Also she immediately decided to let me read lines in English at the other day.)

I think she believes in her own sensitivity and are ready to bear the responsibility for her work as a director. These make reliable director and will make her great director some day.

１月５日

今日は、ボイスと方言の先生、ジムに会いにキャンパスに行ってきた。先セメ、私は俳優のためのボイスというジムのクラスをとっていた。ジムは４０歳で長身でハンサムでとても優しい。（大学院入試の時のオーディションで会ったときは、なんか不機嫌だったけど、でも私の第一印象は間違え）クラスがはじまってすぐ、ジムはランチに誘ってくれ、何がしたいのか、そのために自分が何の手助けができるか、聞いてくれた。（それから私が一体どれくらい英語を理解してるのかも知りたかったと言ってた）そして次の日、クラスで”彼女は日本から来たんだけど、英語を上達させなきゃいけないから、話しかけたり、ランチに誘ったりしてあげてね。彼女は日本でプロの俳優として仕事してて、君たちも学ぶことは多いと思うから、彼女のためだけでなく君たちのためにもなるんだから。”と言ってくれたりした。

彼のクラスではより豊かな響く声の発声法をだけでなく、英語をいかにクリアに話すか、発音記号を使ったりして勉強した。発声はなんかとついていけたけど、発音うんぬんはお手上げ・・。でも、Ａマイナスをつけてくれた・・申し訳ないような・・。うーーでも、一度も休んだことないし、提出物も全部だしたからな・・。

２次のオーディションに呼ばれて以来、ジムにはずっとお世話になってて、彼は私のために時間をさいてくれすごく的確なアドバイスをくれる。（英語が喋れれば誰でも英語が教えれるわけじゃない、やっぱりジムはプロってかんじ）

今日はあらかじめ、英語で台詞いわせてもらえることになったとメールしておいたので、ジムはとても喜んでくれて、自分も私の英語はとても上達したと思う、がんばったねと言ってくれ、とても嬉しかった。

旦那さんが今日話してたこと。彼の会社に新しい人が入ってきたそうで（たぶんナイジェリア人）なにくれとなく気にかけて親切にしてるとのこと。自分が会社に入ったとき、そうしてもらえて嬉しかったから。私もジムとかアメリカの人から優しくしてもらったことを忘れず、恩返しのつもりで、今の私のような、心もとない、困ってる人を見たら、優しくしようと思うのでした。

Today I went to the campus to meet Jim, a voice and dialect teacher. I took his

class last semester, voice for actors. He is 40 years old, tall, handsome and nice.（ But when I met him for the first time at the audition for the graduate school, he looked so sullen. But my first impression about him was completely wrong. ）Right after the class starts, he asked me for a lunch. He said he wanted to know what I expected for the class and what he can do for that (and how well I can understad Englsih.) And next day he announced in the class "she needs to improve her English, so please talk to her and ask her for lunch or something. that's good for her Englsih practice and also good for you all, you also can learn many things from her, because she was a proffesional actor in Japan."

At the class, we learned not only how to utter well rounded and resonant sound by vocal exercises, but also how to speak English more clearly by learnig phonetic signs. I was able to follow vocal exercises somehow but phpnetic sign thing was beyoud me. (but he gave me A-...is it.....but of course, I didn't miss a single class and assighments.)

Since I was called back to the audition for the show, I'v been relying on him and he's been saving his time for me and giving really effective advice about my English. （ Every English speakers can not necessarily be good English teacher. Jim is a proffesional!!）

I e-mailed him in advance that the director decided to make me read lines in English, so he gave me his congratulations repeatedly and he said he was excited about it and he agreed my English's improved a lot. I was really really happy.

My husband told me that his group got a new employee and he is been kind to him in various ways, because he appreciateed someone who was care for him, when he entered the company.

I also want to help somebody in return for kindnesses which I got from American people like Jim now.

１月４日

There are some voice overs invlved in the show I am working now, so I went to record my voice today. The result turned to be..? I spoke lines at a microphone with a text in my hand. That reminded me when I bubbed foreign films into Japanese as a voice actor. But the situation was completely different... Now what I have to be worried is not that I'm doing great but that they can understand what I was saying?

"My English is understandable?"I asked to Greg who recorded my voice. He replies"Yes, you are doing well....anyway you are not expected to speak without intonations, you know, it's just impposible."

When I practice alone, sometimes I think my English pronounciation is awesome!! but the next momemt I feel depressed that My English is terrible and I can't speak English like native speakers for good!

But to tell the truth, recently I've felt my English's carried a stage further, because I become to hear English's sound cleary when I watch TV, even though I cant' understand the meanings.

Breakthrough?!

今やってる芝居は何箇所か録音した台詞を流すので、今日は録音に行ってきました。出来は・・・・。台本を持ってマイクの前に立つと、日本で声優として映画の吹き替えやってたときのこと思い出すも、状況が全然違う・・・・。今は上手い下手以前の段階。私が言ってること分かる・・・？と。英語喋ってるつもりなんですけど、英語に聞こえてる？みたいな。

”私の英語て大丈夫なの・・・（理解可能）？”と聞くと、録音作業をしてくれてた、グレッグが　”うん、大丈夫だよ～”と答える。”どちらにせよ、イントネーションがない英語を喋ること期待してないし、ていうか、ほら、無理じゃんねぇ？”　ま、そう、そうですね・・・。一人で練習してると、私ってば発音うまいな～と思うこともあるけど、つぎの瞬間には、もう駄目だ、一生、ネイティブのように英語、喋れない、喋れるわけがないじゃんけーーやってられっかよーー！！と思う。とかいいながら、最近、自分の英語が一段階上に進んだのを感じているわたし・・。ＴＶを見ていて、英語の音がはっきり聞こえるようになってきた。

現状打破の予感か！？