Slightly

Surprisingly, it's been about three weeks since school has ended. Although this summer seems like it has been dragging on forever, it's time easily taken to improve on one's self. As a chapter ends, another must start... so it seems as if we can title this lingering period of time as preparation. Preparation can come in different forms, and the outcome will be determined by how we handle the situation but most importantly, ourselves. Personally, I would like to better understand myself.

Yet again during this "preparation", I've encountered some dark feelings. I expressed these feelings before... but I don't understand how they return. I guess this is just how life is, an open door with anything being imminent, things I should have expected (￣□￣；)

━─━─━─━─━─

Again, I'm afraid of
something small and insignificant.
In trying to hide that fear
I'm showing my habit of feigning strength.

- Ayumi Hamasaki, "Independent"

Restruction

Once again I find myself up at a ridiculous time with nothing better to do. When I look out the window, it brings feelings of comfort because I know there is something out there waiting for me. That something is not really a material possession... just something. My destiny. My fate. A place I am destined to be. I don't exactly know what it is, no one does. But it's enough for me to believe in until it's finally realized.

A smile, a frown, a cry. These days, all of these emotions seem indifferent to me. I've found it increasingly harder to express some of these, and for no reason at all. Nothing of importance has happened to me. There is anxiousness in a place that is awaiting nothing. I find it flustering, but it is what it is. I think it is the feeling of being a burden. When people go out of their way for me, the feelings of responsibility are imminent. Just the thought of someone thinking about me brings me feelings of graciousness. I hope I can return these kind feelings in a greater way.

Combust

It's about 1:30 in the morning, and it's at times like these when I realize I am more of a night person than anything else... (￣▽+￣*)

Makes me wish I could go out at this time...

Life has been extremely slow and boring these past few days. I've tried to make it exciting, but it would only last for a short interval of time.

I've no will power to add a sufficient amount of chat to this post... so I guess I will give up and go to sleep. Hopefully tomorrow will present some sort of excitement... but I doubt it.

Wishing hard in the hopes to suddenly appear somewhere else... (￣□￣；)