Make Progress.

So it seems ever since I turned 19 I've been too busy to write here (・∀・)

Well I'm back! At least for now...

I was just grabbing my 1 AM snack (jello) before I throw myself into the comfortable crevices and valleys of my bed sheets, as I have to wake up at a cheery 7 AM tomorrow for work... oh god.

But anyways, enough about that. What's been going on as of late??

Well, work, work, and more work. Seriously, I was so scared about two weeks ago because I didn't think I could handle it... pulling an all nighter from 12 AM to 5 AM just to write a 5 page philosophy paper is stressful as hell and, to be honest, made me feel like shit (ﾉω･､) Not just because I barely got any sleep, but because I was saddened by the state I had been reduced to... I always used to try my best and I felt at that moment I was desparate and not giving it, or life in general, the best I could.

So from that I learned a valuable lesson and I'm starting some stuff early now (^O^)

On the topic of today, I worked a 6 hour shift and then went out to dinner (Cassey's) with co-workers! To be honest this is a little surreal - me, having engagements like that?! (・ω・) I'm glad my life has actually gotten to be more "full", if that makes any sense.

Random fact - music in my life right now: Utada's newest English album, "This Is The One". Love it so much! I'm listening to "Me Muero" right now and it's so relaxed.

And now that I'm down to the bottom of the cup and the miserable strays of artificially flavoured gelatin are dancing in the light (are they supposed to do that??), I think it's time for bed.

オヤスミ。

Mirror ～ 18歳の君へ

This year has been one of discovery.

I began not expecting what would happen, but I did feel an immense burden. I was an "adult", whatever that meant. I was scared. I did not know what kind of world I would have to face.

But I kept running forward, my face to the wind, and never gave in.

At times, I would be extremely hurt. I would hear or see things and question myself. I would be crushed under the immense pressure of handling things by myself.

These moments would help me to realize that I, like everyone else, am not invincible. But I never gave in and kept going forward, and for this strength, I am truly grateful. I am truly grateful to the people in my life.

18 - thank you for allowing me to discover who I am even more. I hope to remember you in a fond light, forever the age where I moved one step forward in this journey.

浜崎あゆみ - Mirror

Did I imagine this kind of future?
Did you imagine this kind of future?

Did I wish for this kind of future?
Did you wish for this kind of future?

They ask me
"The beginning or the end?"

"Did you give up
Or are you holding on?"

"Are you shrugging off
Or in despair?"

You tell me
Just to go forward

And that's exactly what I'll do.

Waiting

Don't you hate it when reality finally catches up with you and you realize something that you didn't want to acknowledge?

After a long time I've had these kind of feelings again o(；△；)o I guess it's all part of being human... but I hate it.

I'd like to live without it, but it's hard. It's hard to see it all around me.