Silly Reluctant Kings and Queens...

Reluctant King...

I am sorry Lord, I am afraid. The more important it is, the more I am afraid of losing it. I love Your promise but I lost the relationship with You in the midst of being afraid. The branches without the vine is nothing. The realization of who and what the vine is... When the presence comes, I feel the joy from heaven. Lord, make me, make me to look at You rather than myself. When I can look into myself, I would drill into the deep place for I realize who I am. But when I look at you and I look at myself no more, I can realize You only. How lovely life is to look at You, You only, but not ourselves any more.

Jesus, thank you for being quiet with me.

Silly me

Lord, don't take Your Holy Spirit out of my given life. I'd rather be on the cross every day than living without it. Here is what I request for life. Let Your Love, the Love that beyond any understanding through words, be my motto for life. I am sorry for running away. I am sorry for making such a lot of terms. Nail me on the cross and love me with Your Presence and Power from today and forever more.

In the name of Jesus'

Amen

惡夢之後

我曾以為我可以，如今我知我不可．一年的豐收，一年的旱災．神呀，一生的對不起都不能說出我心內的感受．如今我真的知道我自己是誰．我自己，如果沒有了耶穌是一個垃圾．以家真正明白，耶穌的血是什麼，聖靈的降臨是什麼．我原以為那是神給人成事的祝福，但原來自己看錯了．耶穌的血與聖靈的降臨是．．．生命的份．沒有了，缺乏時，生命就死了．

養了coco才知道養一個小朋友有多難，這樣才知道自己有多難教．原來狗狗就好似小朋友一樣，佢唔係一隻狗，而係一個生命．咁我呢？有時真係覺得神教人好似教狗狗一樣，要好多心機同時間．不過每次見到佢０既面同眼神就好喜愛佢．

發夢，才想到撒旦真的回頭了．

我不再求，不再祈求在日本傳道的事，不再祈求要去跟誰與誰作學徒，不再求man of God，不再恨．這些已經說了不知多少篇，不再祈求生命中的事．神呀，我內心是誰，係點樣你比我更清楚．我的靈要你的幫助，要你的生命，要你作我的主．Just according to you, Lord.

１０月１日之後我就會辭職．入呢一間公司，做呢一份工本是有一個原因．．．．．．１０月１日之後．．．．．．神呀，什麼都不作，這兩個月，只是請你按你自己的指意去行，因為在你的全是美好，在人的不完全．

In the name of Jesus'

Amen

許す

真剣に聞いてください

私は、神様が私を許したように、君を許します。

「許す」というのは、

記憶から消すことです。

良かったことも、悪かったことも、過去のことも、今のことも、将来のことも、

分かるの、その日から全ての約束も破れられましたから、全てのことも消えます。

二度と会うことはありません

二人が会っても、違う人になったじゃないの？

その時、挨拶さえ要りません。

もう書かなくていいです

「さよなら」しか言えません。

心から、祝福します

キースより

29・1・2007

回想我們的日子

本日記由2005年10月開始

至今呢一個日誌係2007年1月9日

1年3個月...

好像是3年一樣

這是我們的日子

有密密麻麻的

有稀疏的...

這証明了我們的日子

有了你我就會滿足

但願這日記總是密密麻麻

二年間の研修！今から遅くないですよ！

突然真係發覺自己有一點笨，給撒旦欺騙了．

神一直都同我同在！一點都沒有離開過

不過真的！被撒旦欺騙了！

回到家真好！

答案是：尋找神，不是尋求東西．

我求的我知道我已得了

我嗅得出！

拿起你的床，走吧！

「二年間の日本語の勉強と聖書の勉強を目指せ！」

但比這些更重要的是，我與神的關係！

有什麼都可以求，有什麼都可以大膽與主嘗試！

じゃ、主と一緒に二年間飛びましょう！

諦めません！ずっと諦めません。

Get back on the cross

Die with Christ on the Cross = Denial of self and own desires

All that I am and all that I have are surrendered to Jesus Christ

No matter what, where, when, how and who,

By the faith given by the Holy Spirit that we thus then can believe that

God is good

He loves us and will understand and read our hearts

He will prepare and understand

Then He will prepare the way and let us live with Him every day

He will bring us there not only according to our desires,

He will pour out blessings, blessings and blessings

He will give and we will receive

It will be more than what we think of and ask of.

because, God, indeed, truly and really loves EACH of us.

God knows, God understands, God will not neglect

God will give not only naturally But spiritually!

Put down all the things in your hearts and just come to Him

To know who He is and undestand His love

This is the only thing to do.

Listen!

Just get back ont he cross

offering all the desires and wants

Surrender the rights to the final decsion by

knowing who He is, that is Love on us

Make a decision that ... All is unto the Lord

Then...

You will see God is actually on your side all the time

He will show you and guide you what and how to do

He must provide!

Trust not yourself or any man on earth as I said before.

Trust your Lord only!

Amen

All you need right now is not studying the word

For the Word is given and led by the Holy Spirit not self

All you need is a "True Prayer"

真心話

今日不想起床，睡覺中我跟神說：請送我離開去日本，給我新生命．

真心話：

我想離開這地

我不想理會我的性格及我的能力

我不想理會我的屋企

我不想理會我坎了之後還有幾多朋友乘下

我總之就是不想再理會任何一樣這一秒之前的事

我就是不想再估計我需要做咩野先可以或不可以

已經足夠了

我只想：

完全與神一起，脫離所有bondages及不足

去與神合二為一的在日本傳道．

想在日本有一個新的，喜樂的，平安的，充滿的，豐富的，

有愛的，有聯繫的，充滿聖靈的家庭，有兒有女．

想去跟從Pastor Benny Hinn

做咩都好！真係做咩都好，可以學神的話及賺錢過活．

唔想再自己設計點樣走先可以走得到，只想走．

就是這樣簡單，因為我發覺我不可能再自己設計怎樣走了．

沒可能，發覺自己是完全不可能自己設計怎樣走．

大得不可能想像．

累了

取去我的一切吧

亞門

Letter from the Drawer

剛剛收拾東西時看到一封信 是一封已被我打開了約一個月的信

仔細看嚇了一跳然後內心有不悅的感覺

由小到大我都成績不錯 不過大學成績卻不同是非常差，

只因我不喜歡這個課

現在想真的没有回頭路，反倒感恩？

因為現在路只有一條 不再升學，不再追趕世界。

追趕的只有亦是唯一可以追趕的

否則我會的， 因我沒有後路，不再升學，不想做廣告。

我只想，只有一樣就是在日本傳道。

想與神賜的人一起在日本傳神的生命。

想跟從Benny Hinn學神的話。

我沒有特別好的school record

什麼事都由現在做起

1. 聖經

2. 禱告

3. 英文

4. 日文

5. 知識

6. Working Ability (Communications & Responsibilities)

7. Woman of Godly characters

Tell God

The only thing that I will not let you do

要改的東西十分多

但無論係邊一樣都可以只用一個星期

又或是一個月的時開改變

有的什至一日都可以

唯獨一樣我唔可以讓你係咁耳過0既 :

That is the union with God through the Blood of Jesus Christ, the glorious reunion with God through days and nights in the wilderness. + Put yourself on the cross with me that is the safest place from everything.

Prayer

Prayer is not simply...

holding 2 hands together

kneeing down on the floor

with tears like a flow of a river

or plus some religious wordings and signs

and copying the prayer of the giants in history.

Prayer is...

just simply,

breaking down who you are

telling God of what you think of

no matter it is of good or evil

offering all of the "who you are" to God

with honesty of what you can and what you cannot

with honesty of what you want and what you want not

not by words in mouth or in the brain and in the heart

but by the Holy Spirit in the whole being

It is notwithstanding where you are

how crowded or how quiet it is

Just put all that you are and what all you have to God

The bondage

The hardholds

The grasp that you don't want to lose

everything

then...

You will know the true liberty from the Bible

then...

You will see God and smell the aroma of His Goodness

then...

You will have the eternal love infiltrate into your whole being, linking with eternity.