I have been wanting to find the words to express myself for such a long time.
For almost nine years, and after several attempts, I still find that I am not able to articulate one single word of my feelings.
Not because I forgot how to write or what my feelings may be; because, every time I try, my heart starts beating a bit faster, my palms start to sweat a little, and this very heavy 'something' appears in my stomach and just sits there for a while.
In my head, it always starts like this...
An absolutely gorgeous September morning. Nothing but beautiful, endless sky; the bluest, the clearest, the most serene.
At once I begin to lose control. My very familiar world is no longer recognizable. I am hypersensitive to everything and it is not familiar. My whole existence, my rationale, everything i have ever learned is changing - but, i am not aware of why. I am profoundly sad. I am in survival mode- this much is known, but why?
These are my first feelings as i am witnessing the devastation of my neighborhood- my friends, on that once beautiful September morning of 2001, terror invading my home, destroying everything so dear to me; playing out before my very eyes.
When I first saw this video, i was rocked by emotions of that day. I began to feel, yet again, not myself.
After nine years I could now identify why. I am not in survival mode anymore. I am not profoundly sad.
The background images on this video are beautiful and remind me of my old home of many many years.
Lady Liberty, the Brooklyn Bridge, the spires of the downtown skyline so erect in the cloudless sky.
A beautiful sky just like nine years ago.
A feeling engulfs me as I begin to see some of my favorite things in the video.
I guess this is as good a start for me.
For almost nine years, and after several attempts, I still find that I am not able to articulate one single word of my feelings.
Not because I forgot how to write or what my feelings may be; because, every time I try, my heart starts beating a bit faster, my palms start to sweat a little, and this very heavy 'something' appears in my stomach and just sits there for a while.
In my head, it always starts like this...
An absolutely gorgeous September morning. Nothing but beautiful, endless sky; the bluest, the clearest, the most serene.
At once I begin to lose control. My very familiar world is no longer recognizable. I am hypersensitive to everything and it is not familiar. My whole existence, my rationale, everything i have ever learned is changing - but, i am not aware of why. I am profoundly sad. I am in survival mode- this much is known, but why?
These are my first feelings as i am witnessing the devastation of my neighborhood- my friends, on that once beautiful September morning of 2001, terror invading my home, destroying everything so dear to me; playing out before my very eyes.
When I first saw this video, i was rocked by emotions of that day. I began to feel, yet again, not myself.
After nine years I could now identify why. I am not in survival mode anymore. I am not profoundly sad.
The background images on this video are beautiful and remind me of my old home of many many years.
Lady Liberty, the Brooklyn Bridge, the spires of the downtown skyline so erect in the cloudless sky.
A beautiful sky just like nine years ago.
A feeling engulfs me as I begin to see some of my favorite things in the video.
I guess this is as good a start for me.