Im confusing how to start
I dont study well so it seems like i am in frustration
in the beginning of this autumn we went to pick in potaoes
and in the end of day we decided to get relax such way as
take a big wild herb and take photo with it
i even danced a tango with it
in the evening i saw airplane in the pink sunset
it was so charming moment
we visited our aunt a few times and one day i wanted to take a portrait but i feel shy
i dont know why, well even
nah, because i didnt talk a lot i got bégaiement
is it bad? or not? but i feel some stress
you know, like im talking such way because i am worrying but it is not
moreover i take new books and try to read it all and while i have time i understand i MUST write my work
i dont know why i have some barrier or..whats a damn block in front of me?
it seems I know that everything i write excist already!
it was one in a few classes in this month when i visited class
oh, why we dont have normal classes?
well, i know a reason, just.. i want to do something
i know that i have work besides homework and still do nothing
What is going on, sigh
this autumn is full of physalisis and i cant stop to admire of them!
when we went to market and when i got a bit trouble with relatives,,,i thought that finally i could tell something to grow up in my mind
yeah, it is getting period when i really realize what i am not so child as before
however i would die in the moment when i must separate with my past life
in background in the trees is my house and none can see him w
oh no
i can see it
. . .
anyway these apple trees
i thought i will take photo of book that i read but sometimes i cant to do it
it sounds like i excuse how many books i read
foolish idea
however, sometimes i do like covers of them and i cant to not take one photo with cover of them
oh, how to catch a Muse!
recently i thought that we have two classes and when i came in uniersity i realized that class was cancelled.
. . .
. . .
. . .
then i walked around two hours and sat in library with sister and then came to next class
and then
i realized that our teacher got vacation
this...this.. september makes me crazy
no scedule, no plan, no thoughts
I am going crazy
. . .
i've started argue a lot even
and and my thought about future arent so kind as it was before
well, when i went to uni i found book that was popular here when it was released
just I dont like this author but i found his book in freemarket
some unknown person left book there and i took it
at least
i read first 60 pages for 30 mins
is it easy reading? i dont know
when i get free time i will back to this book and i will know why people like it so much
in the same day sister took book at another freemarket about ancient Greece
about Spartak
oh, i cant wait to read it!
but now I am reading Leo Elnitsy and his great book about Great travels of antique world
well, yeah
this love came from childhood
when we were around antique philosophers books
just i think why i am so gool and limited person?
i can just take from book and thought
but my vocabulary
oh
thats why it is so hard to find the common 'language' wo any person
/sigh
these hearts to right book for sure!
also last week i met my ex student and he gave me tea from India
o, thats amazing tea with perfect flavour
iam so thankful to him for such gift
also i tried to make eyelines
but it doesnt work long
sigh
and what happened today
i awoke around 8 am and went to art museum
our Tretiakovsky gallery sent to our museum some pictures and we got class there
ooo
i do love russian painters for how they did draw dailylife of russian people
ppeople didnt change
thats exactly
i didnt have right to take photo
but when can i get a chance to do it in a whole my life?
who knows?
even if they said me it is forbidden, ars longa vita brevis
Perov, Repin, Makovsky, Shishkn et cetera
oh
it was so outstanding
i wish i stay at home and i really tired of people because i spent most of my time at quiet place
with books and silent
-kahara