19.40 ~
yah, last weeks i have been backing to homa after 8 pm
and,,and it's sad and scary
even if i like evening for colors of sky, i afraid people around
and recently someone called me from the dark, ahh
had he drunk, right?
sigh
when winter comes it will be worse and i am alone in the street
yaahhh
you know, last two months i cant sleep well, i am rollin on the bed from one side to another and caaaan't sleep
i cant stop think about human's behaviour
about their thoughts, action
why are they doing so?
words are so strong, more strong than action
thats why we apprecite words from people who we like
but we dont apprecite when it touches our principles
sigh,
i am glad i've met that person and , uhm
we cant show our soul by words and it makes me sad, sigh
just i think, when we are trying to say truth, that person who we tell, dont understand that, it looks awkwardly to him or obsess but it's not real truth
uhm, last time i also reading books about german romantism and i really think, we are part of my being, sigh
but anytime i relize i cant to people, sigh
i cant meet to them , sigh
i cant understand how to start to talk...for just
but also i afraid to stay with books only,
in general i want to talk thats why i always find a converstation but sooo rarely i find it
thats why i feel like sad
for all my life, i guess i've met only three people who is same with me but...
sigh
i so need to talk to someone
but if i come to one, he or she can think i am going crazy
aaaaa
last night i thought about, uhm,,, you know
may be thats why i wanted to study in department of philosophical antropology?
i wanted ot five years, or six,,,from high school,
it's nevermind now
how many times i tolt to myself i cant be happy at all, sigh
sadness is my type w
even if i look to the past time, sigh
no, i'll go.
i've done something wrong but i afraid to do that first, who can help me?
who knows...
-kahara