It's been forever since I last updated my blog.
A lot has happened within the year.
Firstly, Yuu and I broke up, he's living with my mother.
Where do they live? In New York.
Everything that happened during Thanksgiving week
went down like this.
We found the house we wanted to get. Good news we got it.
after going back to Arizona we packed our stuff and prepared to move.
I quit my job at the flower shop, sold my car.
After moving everything we owned to the house in NY.
My boyfriend decided that he was bored of me.
Dumping me, on x-mas day, I grabbed the stuff I could carry.
I was on the next flight back to Arizona, nowhere to go.
I stayed in a hotel for some days looking for jobs.
No one would hire me, it would be when I was at the airport,
trying to get a ticket back home, I ran into someone familiar.
Takashi, he bought me a ticket to Cali, we had so much fun.
That I ended up moving in with him, I called my mother told her to ship my stuff.
After getting settled in with Takashi, we stayed in different rooms.
Living with him for about two months or so, we began to have feelings for each other
Dating so many months now it has been the most beautiful time.
I love the man named Takashi Hasegawa.
He treats me better then my ex boyfriends, ever did.
To people we are beautiful to anti-gays we are ugly.
But because of them I've come to love my boyfriend more.
I made their ugliness into something more.
I can say I have had my ups and downs but the man of my life
has always been by my side. Every now and then I go back home.
This time Takashi came back with me. He met my ex they did not hit it off.
The best part, he was jealous, I can say I was very happy about that.
After seeing my mother and my sister, we went to see the rest of the family.
He was scared it was cute. After going back home, we ended up going on a date.
It had been nearly two years that me and Takashi end up dating.
I can say without a doubt in my heart
I love this man to death and he loves me.
Well that's what happened.
Life is never easy, I won't say my life isn't hard or easy.
My life is just the way I live it.
Yeah. I grew up with an abusive father who left when I was young.
I dealt with a drunk and abusive mother.
Even my own sister tried to kill me.
I drove myself to the ER I can say I bled alot.
Even the doctors were stunned by me driving myself to the ER.
And the amount of blood loss.
But my life was hard. I went through relationship after relationship.
I even was in love with a man that I thought was the one for me.
But he hurt me while making love, and dumped me.
Yeah I went through a depression I won't forget.
I landed myself in the hospital for two weeks.
But I didn't tell my friends who were worried.
I got on and pretended everything was okay.
I lost friends and gained new ones.
I fought with people I hit guys. I even slapped a girl.
I been beaten to a pulp because I was with a guy.
I been out and people accuse me of something.
Because I look Goth/Emo they think I cut myself when I have no cuts on my wrist.
Because of my lip ring they think I like pain. They think I steal and trash places.
I can't count the many times I been accused of something.
Even then I held my head high because I'm better then that.
I'm better then what they accuse me of.
I been arrested on a false charge. Even then I still hold my head high.
But when two friends fight it makes it hard to talk to them.
I don't know what I would do..
I can't help them because this isn't my place.
They have to work this out themselves. It's hard not to help them.
If I help them, they will never learn anything, only to keep running to me.
But there will be a time I won't be here.
They will have to learn to talk to EACH OTHER and not me.
There will be no lesson here only simply a note.
To my two wives;
TALK TO EACH OTHER AND DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP.
DON'T GIVE UP THE FRIENDSHIP YOU HAVE.
MY PRINCESS, MAKE TIME TO TALK TO MY LITTLE LOVE.
ELSE YOU WILL REGRET LOSING HER.
I CAN'T PROMISE TO ALWAYS BE THERE TO FIX EVERYTHING.
MY LITTLE LOVE, TRY!!!
BOTH OF YOU STOP BEING BITCHES AND TALK.
(I don't regret calling you both bitches.)
My life is just the way I live it.
Yeah. I grew up with an abusive father who left when I was young.
I dealt with a drunk and abusive mother.
Even my own sister tried to kill me.
I drove myself to the ER I can say I bled alot.
Even the doctors were stunned by me driving myself to the ER.
And the amount of blood loss.
But my life was hard. I went through relationship after relationship.
I even was in love with a man that I thought was the one for me.
But he hurt me while making love, and dumped me.
Yeah I went through a depression I won't forget.
I landed myself in the hospital for two weeks.
But I didn't tell my friends who were worried.
I got on and pretended everything was okay.
I lost friends and gained new ones.
I fought with people I hit guys. I even slapped a girl.
I been beaten to a pulp because I was with a guy.
I been out and people accuse me of something.
Because I look Goth/Emo they think I cut myself when I have no cuts on my wrist.
Because of my lip ring they think I like pain. They think I steal and trash places.
I can't count the many times I been accused of something.
Even then I held my head high because I'm better then that.
I'm better then what they accuse me of.
I been arrested on a false charge. Even then I still hold my head high.
But when two friends fight it makes it hard to talk to them.
I don't know what I would do..
I can't help them because this isn't my place.
They have to work this out themselves. It's hard not to help them.
If I help them, they will never learn anything, only to keep running to me.
But there will be a time I won't be here.
They will have to learn to talk to EACH OTHER and not me.
There will be no lesson here only simply a note.
To my two wives;
TALK TO EACH OTHER AND DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP.
DON'T GIVE UP THE FRIENDSHIP YOU HAVE.
MY PRINCESS, MAKE TIME TO TALK TO MY LITTLE LOVE.
ELSE YOU WILL REGRET LOSING HER.
I CAN'T PROMISE TO ALWAYS BE THERE TO FIX EVERYTHING.
MY LITTLE LOVE, TRY!!!
BOTH OF YOU STOP BEING BITCHES AND TALK.
(I don't regret calling you both bitches.)
In my last post I wrote about moving and overlooking.
First off before I get ahead of myself I would like to say, that WE GOT A HOUSE!!
It's a four bedroom house, two bath. Best thing, it was built in 1900's I have no neighbors!!!
And the best part is I get the master bed room because, my boyfriend is moving in with us.
He's helping us with the money and stuff. He's even coming with me for a month to Az.
Tomorrow I guess it would be today, since it's 1 for me. I'm leaving with my boyfriend and family.
We're leaving at 7:10am we'll be landing in Philadelphia 8:18am.
Which I guess it good, then we're leaving Philly at 10:05am then a long as trip to Phoenix.
Landing at home around 12:44pm to 1pm which I am happy because now I can quit my job.
Get everything ready and finallllly CHANGE of different clothes. I have been dying for the change.
Okay, so now, for the blog over looking. I realize...
I was harsh on the one over looking another person.
As I said before I know the feeling of being over looked....
I rather not say it, but I can't explain it well.
When I was younger my mother was pretending to be okay
pretended we were one big fucking happy family no worries, no harm, right?
I was beaten and bullied daily at school I tried to tell my mother but she over looked me.
She paid more attention to my little sister.
I was depressed, cut myself I was even put in the hospital for blood loss.
Yet my mother continued to over look me, like I was nothing but a fucking bug.
This continued to go on till I was 14.
Not good I know, but I was smoking and in what people call "The wrong crowd"
I done bad things it was until I snapped at my mother and she broke down.
Cried for days, she knew I was right. I can say I cleaned up my act and I am the person I am.
I met a girl whom I loved with all my heart, and for her I wanted to be everything she wanted.
But she looked at me as a brother, I took her out on dates but she looked at it as friends.
I apologize for the harshness I put in the last part of my blog, but I just don't want to see...
Close friends lose each other because they push each other to the edge and off the cliff.
First off before I get ahead of myself I would like to say, that WE GOT A HOUSE!!
It's a four bedroom house, two bath. Best thing, it was built in 1900's I have no neighbors!!!
And the best part is I get the master bed room because, my boyfriend is moving in with us.
He's helping us with the money and stuff. He's even coming with me for a month to Az.
Tomorrow I guess it would be today, since it's 1 for me. I'm leaving with my boyfriend and family.
We're leaving at 7:10am we'll be landing in Philadelphia 8:18am.
Which I guess it good, then we're leaving Philly at 10:05am then a long as trip to Phoenix.
Landing at home around 12:44pm to 1pm which I am happy because now I can quit my job.
Get everything ready and finallllly CHANGE of different clothes. I have been dying for the change.
Okay, so now, for the blog over looking. I realize...
I was harsh on the one over looking another person.
As I said before I know the feeling of being over looked....
I rather not say it, but I can't explain it well.
When I was younger my mother was pretending to be okay
pretended we were one big fucking happy family no worries, no harm, right?
I was beaten and bullied daily at school I tried to tell my mother but she over looked me.
She paid more attention to my little sister.
I was depressed, cut myself I was even put in the hospital for blood loss.
Yet my mother continued to over look me, like I was nothing but a fucking bug.
This continued to go on till I was 14.
Not good I know, but I was smoking and in what people call "The wrong crowd"
I done bad things it was until I snapped at my mother and she broke down.
Cried for days, she knew I was right. I can say I cleaned up my act and I am the person I am.
I met a girl whom I loved with all my heart, and for her I wanted to be everything she wanted.
But she looked at me as a brother, I took her out on dates but she looked at it as friends.
I apologize for the harshness I put in the last part of my blog, but I just don't want to see...
Close friends lose each other because they push each other to the edge and off the cliff.
So, I was spending the night with my boyfriend, he tells me
"Lets buy a kitten or a puppy, what do you think?"
The first thing that came to my mind was..
'What are you talking about?!'
But as I thought about it, I started liking the idea.
The idea of having our first, it brought me back to our first everything.
I couldn't help but smile and the look on my face was..
As he put it priceless. I turn and looked at him seriously while I said "Yes"
(Much Like This)
I can say he laughed... Hard I might add.
He smiled and looked at me while trying to calm down.
"Take, you are soo cute"
I couldn't help but pout and turn to face the tv
while he held me tightly he kissed my cheek.
So I told him where I would like to move too.
I told him
"I would like to remain here in New york for a while"
He turned and smiled at me, so As of a few hours ago.
I am now a New Yorker, well.. not really.
I was born in Arizona.
I told my family that moving here in Maine would be good.
My mother smiled and agreed, at least we're with family.
So in a few weeks, we'll be heading back to Arizona.
There we will begin packing, and loading a truck that will be driven.
While me, my mother and sister will be on a plane.
The plan is;
Pack everything (No Hurry.)
Starting with pictures, tv's, books, DVD's, Cd's.
Clothes and kitchen stuff will be safed last.
We're staying until our lease is up for the month.
Beds and everything will be packed a week, before we actaully leave.
So in other words, we're sleeping on the floors. Hurray.
Then we're off to our new home, well this week we are getting a home.
So life as I know it somewhere else will be gone.
I have to quit my job's and have my car delivered, say goodbye to friends.
And.. my rp life might have a hiatus, or even worse retire.
I'll have to look for a new job.. maybe I'll restart my modeling career again.
First of all, I like to say sorry to;
Ayako-My sweetheart, I know we been friends for a long time but now it's time to move on
Ami-Your a good girl and that's all I have to say.
and last but not least;
Steph-I love you my wife, my princess, I love you dearly, I will miss you the most.
It's ashame that we never had the pleasure of meeting in person I'm sure that would have been fun.
But in time when I get adjusted to the new life I'll be on more. For you most of all.
Any way after crying for the last hour, Topic today is;
OVER LOOKING;
Okay, so I got an email from a friend whom is dear to me.
"HE" asked me, in great detail about how he was feeling about an ex and they ARE friends.
He told me that they talk all the time, either online or in person or on the phone.
His ex is also friends with his brother, his brother is close to his ex.
So when he is online and his brother is online as well, his ex talks to his brother.
Not one word to him, not even a hello or a goodbye before leaving for work.
Okay, so here we go about this one.
Over looking is a big problem.. if the person continues to do it it'll only get worse.
The trust will be gone, and soon they will lose them even if they say they are special to them.
Because of them overlooking and just simpling forget them.
Lets start with the over looker.
The one being over looked I know the feeling because
I myself have been over looked by someone.
I myself have been over looked by someone.
Okay obviously the feelings are being forgotten, like you don't matter.
Like, no matter what your not being looked at, you have things you want to say.
Yet, they pick someone else over you, they don't say "hello" or "Goodbye."
They are online or with you and talking to someone else on the phone.
They don't bother to look at you or even acknowledge your even there.
Sometimes they do but they rather talk to the other then yourself.
Of course most of the time, the time frame is limited but still enough time to say hi and bye.
But this does not help the other. The other still feels like he or she is being over looked.
The best way to resolve this would be to disappear. But this is only running away.
To the over looker. Don't run away, don't think that your not important to them.
Cause one you are important, you are special,
you are more then what they are letting you know.
you are more then what they are letting you know.
Two because they over look you, doesn't mean you should run, let them know that your there.
Either look at them or speak up and say "Hey I'm here.. I'm here because you are"
Don't be afraid to use your voice.
To the Ex or the one over looking the person.
This is your fault, well it's not but it might as well be your fault.
Your feelings are just childish the reasons for doing it are just childish.
For once think of someone else other then your own feelings.
Sure you maybe hurt and what not, but YOUR hurting someone else.
Over something so stupid, because he or she is your ex doesn't give you right to pick favorites,
You need to let go of any feelings your holding for another,
just enjoy life, enjoy what you have.
just enjoy life, enjoy what you have.
Enjoy the little things, look in front of you they aren't gone.
Just stop being a little child and be your age for once. Stop over looking the other.
Cause in most cases when you need them the most, they won't be there for you.
Especially when you need them, and it will be on you because you over looked them.
For both.
The best option I can give is, the two need to talk it over.
Both also need to stop taking everything seriously, and stop being childish.
If you once loved each other or once were close.
If this cycle continued in the end you'll lose them.
The one being over looked, will think about the other, will only think about them.
As soon as the other makes contact only then will they talk again, but by then it's too late.
The damage is done because the other was foolish to not think about the other feelings.
Advice before it's too late to repair something already broken.
Don't want to long to speak, don't pretend the other exist because that makes you the bad one.
Truly understand where they are coming from so that you can understand them.
But if you only get the response is "I don't know" then it's truly they don't know.
Or they had it happen to them, and it's digging into their past that they wish not to talk about.
Talk before it's to late
So apparently when I came home from being gone
I say for about a week and a half with my boyfriend "Yuu". (Fake Name)
He took me to a cute place, outside of Maine, to Montour Falls,
I can say.. breathe taking. He spoiled me to no end.
But hey I'm not complaining about it, I enjoyed it.
I took a picture of the water fall. Beautiful isn't? He took me to a cute place, outside of Maine, to Montour Falls,
I can say.. breathe taking. He spoiled me to no end.
But hey I'm not complaining about it, I enjoyed it.
When we reached the picnic table he apparently was there before.
Waiting for me was a basket with food that he had made himself.
Inside was; Two sub sandwiches, two wine glasses a bottle of red wine.
Two plates & Forks, a container of pasta with chicken and broccoli, Salad.
Two pieces of mini cake he made, mine he wrote in chocolate.
"I love you Takehiko your only meant for me"
After we ate, he took my hand and walked me closer to the waterfall.
He looked deep into my eyes and smiled softly but yet caring and loving.
He said in a soft whisper
"Live with me, pick anywhere in the state, we will live together. I promise"
Just as I was about to answer him, he kissed me firmly but yet softly.
Before long I felt something cold touch my neck it was a star necklace.
But I won't show you yet.
(Picture Below;
Montour Falls)
we took a loooong.. long long shower.
then we watched a little tv, before heading down get some snacks.
But what I didn't know, was he was having a romantic dinner set up.
When we got back, I walked in to find roses on the bed, and long stem roses.
And a table made with four roses in the center and candle light.
And whats more romantic then having pizza, oh yes, I said pizza.
I have to say it was very yummy and good, after we got into bed
cuddled in the roses and then.....*Cough* Rested...
When I got home he dropped me off and kissed me goodnight.
and of course me sporting off my new neck piece I walked in
with a cheesy sparkly face I walked in with arms opened wide
saying "Hellllo Family!" I went to go hug them and this was their reaction.
Welcome to my blog.
I hope you enjoy a good reading and learn something.
Fun Facts About Me;
Fun Facts About Me;
☆My name is Takehiko.☆
☆I am currently in New York☆
☆I live in Arizona, USA.☆
☆I live in the city of Mesa☆
☆I work in a flower shop☆
☆I was born July 20th, 1985☆
☆I'm 26 years old☆
☆I have one sister and no brothers☆
☆My dad was an abusive drunk left my mother messed up☆
☆I am the only man in my mothers life☆
☆I'm not married☆
☆I have a boyfriend☆
☆I have two girls in my life that I treat like wives☆
☆I'm very caring person☆
☆I used to be a model but I won't tell you what I did☆
☆I am very experienced model☆
☆I live in Arizona, USA.☆
☆I live in the city of Mesa☆
☆I work in a flower shop☆
☆I was born July 20th, 1985☆
☆I'm 26 years old☆
☆I have one sister and no brothers☆
☆My dad was an abusive drunk left my mother messed up☆
☆I am the only man in my mothers life☆
☆I'm not married☆
☆I have a boyfriend☆
☆I have two girls in my life that I treat like wives☆
☆I'm very caring person☆
☆I used to be a model but I won't tell you what I did☆
☆I am very experienced model☆
☆I'm not ashamed of it, I did nude shoots☆
☆I was a Photographer I did beautiful shoots, I however didn't use my own name☆
Those are some fun facts about me.
Now that you get a slight insight of me. You'll know where I'm coming from.
Now for the blog.
Choices;
☆I was a Photographer I did beautiful shoots, I however didn't use my own name☆
Those are some fun facts about me.
Now that you get a slight insight of me. You'll know where I'm coming from.
Now for the blog.
Choices;
I believe that people in life can make choices.
Lets start with that:
People can easily choose what they want in life.
Because they were given different things and like them.
It's easy to decided what you want when you know what your feeling.
Feelings are also different.
You know your feelings so choices are easy to go by.
Now for someone whom making a choice is hard.
People who can't decided are automatically labelled
"Indecisive" only because having to pick wasn't a choice for them.
They were handed things easily, and they are easy to please.
Now when you put two of the two people spoken here,
You get an endless circle, because one knows what the heart wants.
They might get tired of picking because it's always up to them.
But yet when they do pick something, the other might not like it.
Only pretend to put a happy face on and go along with it.
The other knowing that the other doesn't like it will ask about it.
While the others response is "No, I'm fine with it" or "Only if you want"
Because they are afraid if they voice their real feelings.
They will be over looked or pushed aside or even heard.
No matter, what the other says to reassure that they wouldn't do that.
It won't matter because it's always in the mind of the other.
The fear of just being over looked.
Either it's happened before in the past or it will happen.
But either way you shouldn't expect much.
Just careful make a list of what you know they like.
Let then pick from that, and all will be fine.
And if it doesn't work ask what they are feeling.
make a small list, either what you see or what they are typing.
I can tell what someone's feeling just by the way they write/type.
And of course facial expression.
Sometimes the person whom can't pick or make a choice.
It's better to pick someone let them tell you if they don't it too or not.
And pick another if they want it or not. Till you both come to one.
But the other shouldn't get mad or upset about what they want.
Because it'll only stir up the feeling of being over looked.
Yelling or getting upset or giving up doesn't help.
Just stay calm and carefully choose your words
Not everything has to start with "Well what do you want then"
Lets start with that:
People can easily choose what they want in life.
Because they were given different things and like them.
It's easy to decided what you want when you know what your feeling.
Feelings are also different.
You know your feelings so choices are easy to go by.
Now for someone whom making a choice is hard.
People who can't decided are automatically labelled
"Indecisive" only because having to pick wasn't a choice for them.
They were handed things easily, and they are easy to please.
Now when you put two of the two people spoken here,
You get an endless circle, because one knows what the heart wants.
They might get tired of picking because it's always up to them.
But yet when they do pick something, the other might not like it.
Only pretend to put a happy face on and go along with it.
The other knowing that the other doesn't like it will ask about it.
While the others response is "No, I'm fine with it" or "Only if you want"
Because they are afraid if they voice their real feelings.
They will be over looked or pushed aside or even heard.
No matter, what the other says to reassure that they wouldn't do that.
It won't matter because it's always in the mind of the other.
The fear of just being over looked.
Either it's happened before in the past or it will happen.
But either way you shouldn't expect much.
Just careful make a list of what you know they like.
Let then pick from that, and all will be fine.
And if it doesn't work ask what they are feeling.
make a small list, either what you see or what they are typing.
I can tell what someone's feeling just by the way they write/type.
And of course facial expression.
Sometimes the person whom can't pick or make a choice.
It's better to pick someone let them tell you if they don't it too or not.
And pick another if they want it or not. Till you both come to one.
But the other shouldn't get mad or upset about what they want.
Because it'll only stir up the feeling of being over looked.
Yelling or getting upset or giving up doesn't help.
Just stay calm and carefully choose your words
Not everything has to start with "Well what do you want then"
That's my views on that.
Thanks for reading. Till next time my loves.
♛Prince Takehiko♛